You all know – I’ve said it a million times – my favorite show is 90 Day Fiance. (applause) It was on last night, and I’m gonna break down some of the highlights for you. Avery, who recently converted to Islam, was flying with her mother to Beirut, Lebanon, to meet her fiance, Omar, and then flying to Syria to live with him. Take a look. We just have to go. (low beat music) I’m not missing my flight. It is what it is. I mean, it’s not that important to have a phone. Yeah, it’s not important to have a phone. You know, you’re just gonna board a plane, and live permanently in Syria. You don’t need a phone. C’mon, it’s not that important. (applause) Hey, Avery. I don’t care if you’re going to Disney World. You need a phone, all right? Even if you’re going to the happiest place on earth, okay? You’re not going to Lebanon without a phone. Hey, spoiler alert, everybody. Avery is super lucky to have this dude. I mean, this guy. I was so ready for this to be a bad situation, you know. She’s going to a different country, and maybe… Get kidnapped by a dangerous group over there, you know I gotta be careful about what I’m saying, but this dude, Omar, is not only super jacked – I mean, look at his muscles – (applause) But ladies and gentlemen, hold on a second. Hold on a second. Ladies and gentlemen, he’s a doctor. (applause) Yes! Yes! Love you Omar. Love you. Avery is lucky to have you. All right, forty-seven year old Rebecca flew over to Tunisia to meet her twenty-six year old boyfriend, Zyed. Take a look. When I arrived, Zyed asked me to rent a car for the next three weeks. (grunts) I was not expecting it whatsoever. Zyed does have a driver’s license, but he has to have at least five years of driving experience before he can drive the rental car. So it looks like I’m gonna be driving the car the whole time that I’m in Tunisia. Oh, yeah. Rebecca’s the old designated driver. (laughter) Okay, listen. We checked rates for rental cars there, and it’s 131 Tunisian Dinars for a mid-sized hatchback a day. That’s 45 bucks a day, so I mean, that adds up. Rebecca, you should have just come to us for a promo. We have a promo code. We could have hooked you up. Zyed took her to a super nice hotel where every car is checked for a bomb. Yeah! Listen, it happens. Zyed told her, “This is nothing to worry about. It’s okay. This is ordinary in Tunisia. No, you know. They bomb sometimes these fancy hotels – they make sure there is chocolate on the pillow, and every car no bomb. No bomb. We don’t like bombs. I love you. I love you so much, Rebecca. You are my everything.” Last night, we met a new cast member. Thirty-three year old Benjamin, yes! Stud! Look at him, Stud from Arizona. He is in love with Akini, who lives in Nirobi, Africa. Take a look. We haven’t met yet, and I want to get to know Akini better in person before I ask her for her hand in marriage. Yeah, it’s a good idea to meet the person you’re gonna marry before marrying them. I mean, I’m old fashioned that way. It makes sense. All right, please continue. Akini has never dated a white guy, and I tell her I’m pretty fly for a white guy. (laughter) Hey, Ben. No, you’re not. Continue. Continue. Continue, please. In seven days now, what are you looking forward to the most? Hugging you and kissing you. And holding your hand And taking your identity, and stealing all the money, and getting your password for the other known crimes (applause and laughter) Please continue. My dad would probably chase you away with a machette and tell you, “and don’t come back!” (applause and laughter) Continue In the African culture, there’s a bride price, which is given in terms of money. When you get here, we’ll tell you, we’ll fill you in. (shocked exclamations) I’d sort of want to know the price beforehand. Look, I mean, when I order an Uber, they give me the price right there on the phone, before I hit that Uber pool. Full disclosure, there was a bride price on my wife as well. My wife is from Holland, and I had to barter with my father in law. We finally settled on my wife for my old Nintendo-64 and an autographed copy of Kangaroo Jack. It was a huge hit over there in Holland. (applause) Oh yeah. And then my wife was all mine. And finally, my girl, Darcy. Oh, she’s the biggest star on TV. Look at my angel. My angel. Darcy lands in Heathrow. But before going to meet Tom, who did not pick her up at the airport, by the way, Not a good move, Tom. She goes to the bathroom for a quick cleanup and change. Let’s see what her airport bathroom beauty regime is. Oh yeah, a little drying under the pits. Okay, a little moisturizing. Oh yeah, get all in there. Finally, the jacket. (moans) Oh, yeah. Work it. A little spray. Gotta smell good, gotta smell good. Okay, wait. She’s not done with the spray. Darcy’s not done, maybe one more. Oh yeah, just one more. Oh yeah, obsession. 45 minutes later, Darcy’s ready for Tom. Oh man, I love that girl. I love you, Darcy. I love you. (doorbell rings) Oh, I’m being told there’s a surprise guest about to come out. Well, come out, surprise guest. I mean it, I have no idea who this is. (upbeat techno music) (cheers and applause) (sobbing) Oh my gosh! That’s how we do. Darcy. (applause) Darcy, my shady producers, man. Surprise! Darcy, you are my princess Meghan. Oh, thank you. You’re amazing. It is so amazing to watch you. You are my favorite. You are my favorite. You’re amazing. Thank you. I appreciate it. I’m speechless right now. Like, I’m just not prepared for this. I just soiled myself. I don’t know what to do here. Now, you had to get ready for Tom – We just watched that clip. You had to get ready for Tom, it was so exciting to see you and Tom meet up. I mean, we’re rooting for you because I know last year, you dated Jeshi. That’s my little imitation of him. We have a little joke at home, too, because when you got into the fight, Jeshi was like, You guys ordered an Uber – and he was like, “Darcy, get in the Uber. Get in the Uber.” So now with my wife, I’m always like, “Honey, get in the Uber.” Yeah, yeah. But it’s so fun to see you finding love. He was a real gentleman last night, though. Yeah, well you know. I wanted to go glam and I was happy to change in the airport to meet Tom. Well, no. I’m actually talking about when you met at the restaurant. I mean, not to be presumptuous, but you were pretty much good to go. You were like, “Well, let’s go back to the AirBnB now” Oh yeah. Well, it must have been four years, so. And then old Harry Potter was like, “No, I think we should get to know each other first.” Yeah, he was being a gentleman. He was really polite. And it’s funny. You were a little… You seemed a little, I don’t know to say… You were a little offended. Well, I feel like I’ve known Tom over the years, and I feel like we’ve already had that connection, so it was, you know. I was excited. I have to tell you, I was pretty shocked, too. I was like, “Tom, go for it. Darcy wants you bad. Do it.” Without giving too much away, are you allowed to talk about your current relationship status? Well, you know… You know I love to love. But, you’re gonna have to just wait and see. Oh, I can’t wait. Darcy, we are such fans. Oh, thank you. I have to tell you. To see you in person, you’re even more beautiful in person. It’s like, literally, you are my princess. I can’t wait for this royal wedding between you and Tom, baby. We’ll see what happens.