A Pixie Wedding (Unsleeping City #5 – Part 1)


The angel of the waters, the fountain of purification and healing, where all things can be born anew. That’s what dreams are. They’re the one thing
that connects us all. Your desire to understand
the thoughts of this being have awoken it from
whatever it was binding. Yeah.
I want to take out my little hair styling comb and
start going at these tails, trying to get the tangles out. (screams) Our tail! Our tail! Our tail! Our tails! My children, you have a
new non-douchebag king now. The Rat King defeated, you
hold his crown in your hands. Something came and tore me off. The Rat King was there and
he dragged me away, but– But it wasn’t the Rat
King that tore you off? No, to tear me off of that fountain you would need powerful magic. What were we doing? The wedding! (everyone laughs) (upbeat music) Welcome back to the Unsleeping City. My name is Brennan Lee Mulligan. Here are our intrepid heroes. Say hi, intrepid heroes! – [Everyone] Hi, intrepid heroes! Oh, gosh. Last we left our brave adventurers off, they were deep in a cistern,
covered in grime and mold and muck, fighting against
the Rat King himself. Being victorious over the Rat King, now holding the crown of the Rat King, you guys liberated Em,
the angel of the waters, the statue of Bethesda Fountain. Your girl, who cleaned
you guys off, healed you, incredible bit of dream
magic from Pete waking Em up. And she flew off back
to Bethesda Fountain. You guys are in your nice
wedding duds, drenched but sweet smelling, with a
little bit of help from Em purifying you guys of
all the filth and piss. What do you guys do here in the sewers? Wait let’s take a look at this crown. Is this crown? Yeah, I think I was wearing it. Yeah, you guys want to… Hey, let’s check out the waters. You can keep wearing it. I mean, you seem to really like it. I’m little, you guys can
just look at my head. Kingston, weren’t you
talking about that guy who puts valuable things up his butt? Oh, yeah. It’s that guy who comes
in here all the time. Yeah, the guy who comes
to the hospital a lot who puts stuff up his butt. I’m saying we could– Do you think it came out of his butt? I don’t think you could
fit a crown up there. That’s not my point, my point is maybe he might have some perspective on. Lowell. Can I do like a wisdom
check or something on it? You wanna do an insight
check on the crown? Yeah. – [Brennan] Be my guest. Sweet. Oh, 24. 24, very cool. Murph, do you have the card over there? I do. You get a bead on this
and get the sense that yes this is a magical crown. Whether or not it’s been up a
single individual’s butt hole is hard to say. All right. In all likelihood given
the state of wear and tear on the crown this thing could have been up any number of butt holes. I used to do colonics at the salon. Can I so an insight check to see if it’s been up someone’s butt? I was just trying to see if it was magic but do you wanna see if it’s? It is very magical yes. Can we get out of this dirty ass sewer? We can have this conversation up– There might be some more cool stuff. I start going through it. Let’s go, I can’t breathe. All of you guys head
tromping out of the sewers. You arrive back having been dried off through the long period of
coming down through the sewers, maybe a little bit of magic
here and there to help ’cause you get out and
it is freezing cold. The sun has set, it is
December in New York. Little strips of snow
hang out here and there but smell often doesn’t hang around even if it stays cold in
New York for very long. You arrive in the manhole
cover that you exited from back near the ramble where you can presume that the reception for the
wedding is just beginning and you see Bethesda
Fountain cracked in half. There is a blasted streak
of soot and ash across it and you see Em there on her knees looking at the fountain,
tears running down her face. I mean, I run to help her. I say, you know what honestly, I have fixed worse hairdos than this. She sort of laughs a little bit to herself and says, I don’t understand. I’ve guarded this fountain
since it was put here. The beginning of the park. I was the guardian of the waters, I was with the Rat King the whole time. It couldn’t have been him. Why did you have to
guard it to begin with? Who would you be protecting it from? She looks down and says, New York can be a tough city. There are a lot of odds stacked against the average person here. This fountain represented a change in the course of the city both in terms of, I was
modeled to look like– A million bucks. Thanks. You see, she says I was modeled after a washerwoman not a member of the aristocracy. This place was supposed to be fountain to bring people joy. I was supposed to guard
the healing waters here and you know, they hired a woman to design me, that’s a big deal. You can tell, you can tell. You’ve got a woman’s touch. I agree, I appreciate that. It’s awesome. You a feminist? Yeah, I think that’s great. I am a feminist. I definitely have to interrupt this. (all laughing) So you said healing waters. What was the significance? ‘Cause I remember I had that
vision where the baby told me that people come here with dreams, everyone came here with a dream. Oh, darling people have been coming here with dreams for 400 years. That’s true. What year did the Bethesda
Fountain get installed. One second. (all laughing) Just gonna put you on the spot real quick. Yeah, what are you may or dome? What are you made out of? I can can tell you–
What specifically is the type of stone?
I can tell you the reason I’m asking. I can tell you the reason
I’m asking ’cause maybe you don’t even need to do it. I actually do know and it was 1864. 1864, how old are you? A lady never (mumbles). Sofia! Excuse you, yeah. We’re all comfortable here. I’ll say how old I am. I mean, look was I here
in 1864, sure absolutely. Do you remember getting installed? So many lifetimes one just forgets. See Em says, The point I’m
trying to make is this. To answer your question the
waters that were put here were meant to be a source
of divine magic in the city and anytime you have a city like New York that’s very cosmopolitan it tends to tap into a divinity that is
neutral for everybody and there are ways to abuse
that if you’re not careful. These waters are not only about healing they’re also about purification. People can come here
and anoint themselves, start a new life. I can’t tell you how many
times someone’s walked through this park and
come by this fountain and decided to turn around for the better. But in a concentrated
dose it could also be used to purify, I don’t know, anything. Like something evil? Like someone who was on the naughty list. Someone who escaped. Can I do an insight
check to look for clues around this fountain? Yeah, go for it. Yeah, I would also like to do that. What was that face you made
when I said naughty list? I got a 25. 25? Hell yeah. You scooped some of the
soot off of the thing. You’ve been around a long time, smell it, this soot is not burnt stone or wood. This is old cremated flesh. (players gasping) Kugrash! Eh, oh hey what’s that? This is a person. This is not the, this is
the cremated remains of– A kind of ritual. Somebody throwed in a felon? A bunch of like bags of
coke and dumped them out and then can I– Like, respectfully? Like to get like a sample? I flip it inside out. Oh my God, the ultimate sacrifice. Remember it almost all got ruined. Do you guys wanna do some? Snort some kinda dead demon person? No, no I wanna keep it so we can test it. It’s like evidence. I thought we were gonna snort it. I was gonna say, I’ll do it with you. Kugrash, you can have
some blow if you want. Honestly I don’t touch the stuff anymore. I kinda wanna know what
happens if I snort the guy. I’m sorry. I’m a rat, I’m sorry. That’s not a rat thing. I’m the Rat King. The point is these are not recent remains, these are the ancient
remains of a cremated body. Maybe we could do some sort of test. I don’t know I’m just trying to grab. I agree, I think this is a good move. I have three bags of remains. Young man, I know that you’re new to this but don’t you have some
kind of detect magic as a sorcerer, what is it? Yeah I do. I can ask to be able to use that I guess. Absolutely. You do have detect magic, don’t you? I do have detect magic. I just don’t know how I would. Oh no, I have detect thoughts. You don’t have detect magic. I don’t have detect magic. Maybe I have it. I know I’m not a healer
but maybe that’s my magic. Sofie! I put my hands on it. Sofie, your magic is that
you’re a wonderful person and you jump really good. Do I get anything? Go ahead and roll me a pure luck check. (laughs) 14. Hey you put your hands on there and you hear a whispering. Sofie–
Oh my God. You should stand up. And you see Em’s talking in your ear. You gotta stand up, it’s not gonna happen. Okay, I’m sorry. Thank you, thank you Em. Absolutely, it’s fine. I’m not a detect magician. Do you want me to just go to
like a hardware store nearby, maybe we can get this thing patched up? The whole fountain? Yeah, I don’t know. I could even stay here if you guys– My family works in construction. I think that maybe we could maybe help in some other way. Em looks out and says,
All of you are too kind to rescue me and then
offer to help right here. I can’t be here, I have to find a way to get back in touch with the waters. Can we take you to the reservoir or Washington Square Park
or somewhere else like that? You could always stay at my place. Do you live in a fountain? No, I’m on Staten Island. I’m gonna go to Washington Square Park. No one wants to go to your
place, Sofie, I’m really sorry. It’s just that the ferry is so quick. I can fly so it’s not about that but I’m gonna go to Washington Square Park to figure something out. Be careful, be safe out there. You too. Thank you for everything you’ve done. Something’s going on. Let us know if you need any more help. Toots, I know I could always count on you. She takes off into the sky. You hear the faint sort
of twinkle of music coming from off in the ramble
as the wedding continues. I’m going to this wedding. Just the bread wedding. The pigeons are gonna get off. That’s a really good pun. I feel like it’s gonna
get a lot of attention. Bread wedding ’cause it’s
bad for birds to eat bread. Thank you.
I thought it was rice. I thought birds could eat bread. Kugrash Doesn’t really get
to tell jokes that often so let’s try– I’m a fucking rat people. I like it, bread wedding. What should I do? I’ll just keep it in my bag. Hold onto the remains. I’m worried about my
friend, Ronald Pigeon. Is anyone vaguely concerned that we’re gonna be going into a wedding we aren’t technically invited
to with a bag of remains? It looks like all the other drugs. I hold up a bunch of dime bags. Your coke is really black,
it’s really dark coke. Yeah, it’s crazy. In we go. Yeah, we’re plus ones to the pigeons. You guys wander back into the wedding. It’s been like an hour and a half. The ceremony’s fully over
so you guys just dipped on the ceremony and are now back here As the reception’s starting up wine’s kinda going around. You see as you arrive back at the glade people are now out in the tent, the dance floor’s getting cleared out. You see as you enter back in
surrounded by other pixies they’re all hanging out on a mostly empty hors d’oeuvres tray that an ogre is holding. You see that Don Confetti
no longer in the cottage looks up at you and goes, It looks like you found your way back to the wedding. Funny, is it appropriate
in your various cultures to say hi at a wedding,
leave for the entire ceremony and then come back to enjoy
the free food and drink? I mean, I’m fascinated that
during your daughter’s wedding you were scanning the crowd
to see who was in attendance. Darling the show must go on. Sometimes things happen
and you have to improvise and that’s what’s so exciting about life. Give me a persuasion check real quick. I like her answer better, ignore mine. I got 20, not net. Not net. You see he goes, I suppose I
don’t have an understanding of how actors and various other hooligans and theater people conduct their business but you’re welcome to avail
yourself to all the food and tasty treats here. Many of them are quite small although, of course that is to be expected because I and my family
are very teeny tiny. Teeny tiny in stature but big
in character and importance. You have spoken truly, Misty Moore. A friend as always to the pixies and the entire Confetti family. Please help yourselves to some cupcakes and also we have I believe some cannolis that are being passed around right now. If you do I’m eating one. You’re Bicicleta, right? We got it from Gianella’s
over in Brooklyn, they do a great cannoli. Oh, you should try it at Spaghetti’s. (all laughing) What is happening in Staten Island? A bakery named Spaghetti’s? I’m sorry, I have to raise a point. Isn’t your last name just
the Italian word for bicycle? (laughs) Yeah, yeah it is. Woof, you know what I’m talking about. Watch out, Confetti. You woof me, your last name is Confetti. You got a problem with my last name? You guys hear all the time. (imitates guns cocking) There’s a bunch of little gypsies. Little tiny guns? Little tiny guns that
all these pixies cock. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Everybody! I use minor illusion to throw
confetti up into the air. It’s a celebration, your
name is a celebration. Ah, the symbol of our
name, beautiful confetti. Little pieces of paper
to mark a celebration and they get stuck in the street and in all the gutters and stuff. All right, help yourself to the food. That almost went real south. (all laughing) Let’s not get shot. Do you bake spaghetti? I don’t understand. It’s a bakery called, Spaghetti’s. Joey Spaghetti’s. It’s really good. It’s honestly not bad. I’m going to need everybody here to make a wisdom saving throw. 22. 18. 18, I get advantage on all
wisdom saving throws, right? Four. Four, gotcha. 15. 15, and what did Sofia get? 17.
Cool, gotcha. Wise crew. Here we go. Too wise crew. Can I use a locking point? You can use a locking point if you want. And one. (all laughing) Do you get wisdom advantage? You get advantage on all
wisdom saving throws? What does it say? Enchantment and possession? This is not enchantment. You do not get advantage. Okay, 11 and then my wisdom, 13. 13, gotcha. It might be something small. Cool, you guys are hanging
out at the wedding. The reception is staring. You guys see that the tent is full. Angela the bride is saying hi to everyone. She looks so happy. She’s got no shock
here, a little pixie cut that comes over one of her eyes. She looks so happy, you see an announcer who looks to be this sort of
little cricket-legged fairy with a little tux jacket on. Goes, All right, all right, all right. Let’s clear that dance
floor for our first dance between the bride and groom. Give it up for Angela
Confetti and Ronald Pigeon. I’m so excited to see
what this looks like. (all clapping) You guys see that Angela
steps out on the floor, makes an earnest attempt to
start dancing with Ronald who’s about as big as she is but Ronald can mostly just pigeon around. He can’t really dance so
he’s just kind of jutting higgledy-piggledy over the dance floor and she kind of twirls
in little bits of glitter around her as this happens. I start trying to palm people
different pill cocktails ’cause that’s just how
I bond at a wedding. You’re gonna need this. This is reminding me of
my first dance with Dale so I’ll take one. There’s a bunch of good stuff in there. There’s about five different pills. I’ll take some pills. Anyone who wants to can
make a perception check. You know I will. I don’t think I’m very perceptive. Oh, I got a net one. 21. 23
18 Perception, I got 18. 18, cool. So Misty, what’s Misty
doing here at the reception with net one on her perception. I mean, I’m just drinking Champagne baby. I’m dancing like this
like a real cool lady. (all laughing) Misty, you’re having a ball ’cause you’re just holding court and making someone else’s
wedding kind of about yourself. And the only one who was invited. Are you wearing white? (all laughing) It’s an off white, it’s a cream. It’s glowing. It’s a beautiful dress. It’s traditional in my family to wear lace to other people’s weddings. Some people got? I got 21. 23. I didn’t roll. I don’t think I’m very perceptive. Your not perceptive, that’s totally fine. So, well then they see, what’s
Ricky up to at the reception? Ricky was trying to track down snacks and he was also like,
when they started dancing just was like very
curious about that image. Honed in on that. For those who got above a 20 as you guys are just hanging out here you all begin to notice
a lot of different stuff. Kugrash and Kingston,
you guys basically notice that there are a lot of
different kinds of people here. In addition to fey you see
that Rourke Redcap is here who’s one head of the sort of fairy mafia. There’s some Domovoy that
are like Russian fairies that are over in a corner. There’s the band, there
seems to be some kind of water nixie kind of spirit. The consigliere, Greg
Prickthorn is here as well. You also are looking around. Are you guys looking for
anything in particular or are you just kind
of having a good time? I think Kugrash is a little concerned about his friend Ronald
Pigeon and the other pigeons getting offed by these pixies. So I’m looking to see if anybody’s like– I think I’m thinking more about how all the different
things are adding up. So I think it’s just a
head on a swivel looking for more weird stuff. Gotcha, cool. Perry comes over to you and says, Hi, looks like the dancing’s getting started up in earnest. You care to shake a tail feather? (all laughing) We can dance, yeah. I start doing my dance with Perry. Perry, how have the
pixies been treating you? Oh, they put out so many crumbs, they’re such good friends. It’s so good to see Ronald, you know like we were all
worried for a little while ’cause he had that whole
thing with Jessica Pigeon and that was sort of weird for awhile. What was up with Jessica Pigeon? Well, you know it’s one of those things where they met in college and they sort of fell into a pattern and then they got out and
sort of changed as people. There was kind of like
good money after bad. He’d already sunk so much
time into the relationship that as they became more
and more incompatible it just didn’t seem to make sense anymore. And all of her friends, you know nobody wants
to be that first person to cross the river to
sort of mention like, hey you guys fight more
than you get along. Maybe you guys should
think about packing it in. You’re still in your early ’20s. You could actually find another partner or go out and date
around but it just seems to be that kind of thing
where routine and habit. So everyday it gets harder
against all the weight of the previous experiences to break out of a bad pattern. So when your codependent. I stuff a Xanax in his mouth as I pass by. So much Xanax in one pigeon. It was a quarter of a bar, don’t worry. (Brennan coos) (all laughing) I’m sorry I that up. Wow. How does Jessica feel about this wedding? So loose. So loose, everything’s good. Your just good.
I’m good. I’m so sorry, dude. I thought that I was
helping you, I’m sorry. That’s the most I’ve
ever gotten out of Perry. Perry was. I got some uppers too if you wanna try to counterbalance this– Oh my God don’t make a little cocktail in this tiny creature’s body. Why don’t we give him a lot of coffee? Oh, I got some coffee, I
know just what you need. Hey man, hey man you’re beautiful. Hey, you’re beautiful
too Perry, you’re great. Can you fly? No. Here’s an upper just give him that. I’m flying right now on
the ground, first time. Okay, I gotta take a walk,
I can’t be in here anymore. God speed, Perry. Take your drugs. I can’t be around all these people. Sorry, I’m so sorry man. Perry leaves. Sofia also got a high perception. What’s Sofia sort of on the lookout for? Well, Sofia is definitely
not in her right mind because she was witnessing
a happy marriage and it’s giving her flashbacks and making her think of Dale. But possibly whatever she got from Pete is helping her to focus
on intellectual things rather than emotional things and she is, the fact that
Mario was here is on her mind. Gotcha, so she’s kind of like on the bead for how and why Mario got here and what the deal was. Yeah, I think she’s scanning but then something will catch her eye and she’ll be like, oh my God. It’s the same table
runner color as ours was. (Brennan laughs) Sofia get it together. With a 21 you notice that the pixies partially recognize you. A couple of them kinda make a look. Not in a threatening or intimidating way but in a way of like, oh
they must know your family. He did know my last name. Your last name, exactly. After the bride dances
you see that they announce the father/daughter dance. You see that Don Confetti
dances with Angela, you see him there. You see she goes like, oh Daddy, you’re so special
on my big special day. And he goes, Angela, light of my life you’re the wind under my
little butterfly wings. I love you so much. I don’t know why you had to marry a pigeon but know this, if he ever crosses you he’ll be sleeping with the fishes. And by fishes I mean pigeons. They die all the time, they
really do die all the time. They’re not very smart
or good at surviving. And you see she says, I love you, Daddy. And they just twirl around a little bit. After that you see Angela
is actually over near you getting a little drink for herself and catching a little moment, and as she flies past
she turns over to you in her little kind of white,
it looks like white leaves that had been kind of glued
or this very formfitting little pixie dress. She looks over– David’s Bridal? How did you know? I tried that one on. Honestly, I do not have
the figure to pull it off like you though. You look fantastic. I’m not surprised you
don’t have the figure to pull it off. You’re about 100 times bigger than I am. Well, yeah you must’ve had
to get that sized down a lot. Yeah, it was really expensive. My Dad paid for it but
it’s okay ’cause he’s a very successful business man. Yeah, well congratulations
on your wedding day. Marriage is a beautiful thing. Oh my God, it’s so sweet of you to say, thank you so much. Yeah. Love your hair by the way. Thank you, I do it myself. I know, it’s crazy. A lot of estheticians don’t
actually work on themself but I do. So yeah, I don’t know, congratulations. Where are you guys gonna honeymoon? Well, there’s a lot of
rooftops in the city that have a lot of crumbs on ’em so that’s where Ronald’s
interested in going. What about you? Your honeymoon shouldn’t just be something that’s so specifically for your husband. (all laughing) I think he’ll end up
going probably anywhere but every time I’ve asked he
only mentions these rooftops with crumbs on ’em. Oh, okay well you should definitely look into Puerto Vallarta. Really? Yeah. I heard Tulum was really,
and a lot of people were going to Tulum. No, Puerto Vallarta’s the
most beautiful honeymoon you could ever go on. My God, sweetheart are you okay? Yeah, I’m fine. All right, well it’s my day so if you’re gonna cry go outside. You see that she flies away. Yes. I have a quick question. Was that a wisdom saving
throw that we did? It was. Okay, I do get advantage
on wisdom saving throws across the board from my plug bracelet. Oh hell yeah, great. So it isn’t dual soul
but, so I’m at like a 20 or something like that. Cool, cool, cool, cool. I think I’m just trying
to sell drugs again. Pete a guy comes over to you. You see there’s one of
the dryads who’s been kind of helping out,
almost like a hostess here comes over and says, Are you the plug? Yeah. And points over to a table in the corner. This table appears to have humans at it. A bunch of humans, they’re
wearing very formal black suits. You see there’s about
three guys in black suits. They look very good looking, pale. Sort of like sharp predatory. There’s one woman there
who’s got like a pencil skirt and a black suit top. And you see that there is a much older man who has that vibe that very
old businessmen have sometimes of being like made of granite. Just in how still and assured he is. There’s another young
woman there with them who’s wearing a much more colorful gown and looks a lot more flush, like younger. Maybe like early 20s. Her mascara is running a little bit as though she’s been crying and you see that the dryad
directs you over to their table. Great, I put on my game face. Beautiful night. The old man speaks, you see the other sort of younger people
nod their head at you. The young woman doesn’t make any eye contact with you at all. The older fellow looks at you and says, Beautiful night is right. Lovely out here, I always
enjoy New York in the winter. Nights get long and
you can’t see the stars but you can feel them out there. Yeah, totally. Great party, I’m having a great time. You guys having a good time? We could be having a better time. I agree, what can I get you? I think we’ll take, what’s say a brick of your finest snow my young man. Great, all right. Don’t accidentally give
them the cremated remains. I’m digging through and trying to separate the full on ashes. Okay, they’re all in really dark bags. Yeah, I pull out an insane amount of blow. You see that he guy nods
to one of the younger people at the table and this young man hands you crisp, fresh
from the bank notes. Cool, I don’t count ’em. I just am like, hmm. Puts ’em away. You see that the young woman
sort of looks up a little bit. The other woman very sort of like, slim and kind of again all business looking. Takes the brick, cuts it
open with one of her nails, and begins to do out some lines. Not in front of herself but in front of the young woman at the table. You see that the older
male looks up and says, Care to do some with us? I would love to, man. And as I do that can I cast subtle spell with detect thoughts on this person by using a sorcery point? Hell yes! So subtle spell, I don’t
have to move anything. You don’t move your mouth,
you don’t move your hands. Nobody can tell your casting a spell. That’s so sick. That is awesome. Hell yeah. Rad. Does that mean that
they don’t have a chance to save against it ’cause they
don’t know it’s happening. They do still save against it. And this is, are you casting on the girl that they’re giving coke to? The crying one yeah. That’s a lot of dice. You see… Your sense of curiosity
begins to move through. You completely glide over all
of the people at the table dressed in black including the old man but the mind of the young
woman opens up to you. You feel yourself split
between reading her thoughts and the desire to go deeper. So you can either read
just her surface thoughts or you can choose to go deeper. If you go deeper it’s
gonna require active effort and might up you talking
to these guys at the table and give them a chance to notice. True, okay can I stay in
surface thoughts right now while I’m doing lines with them and then wait until– Absolutely. You feel the young
woman’s surface thoughts are going like, it’s not too much longer. It’s not too much longer
it’s just another year. All you need is another year,
you’re gonna get out of this. You know other people that have done this and they’re all fine. They got what they needed. You see that the old man
looks up at you and says, well, after you my good man. Great, I do an insanely long line. You see he looks at you and says, Jesus Christ you got a nose on you kid. What are you, half elephant? My God. No, it’s just such a great night. What do you guys do? You’re posted in the corner. Why aren’t you out there mingling? Ah, you know, I’m an
associate of Don Confetti. Old business partners. I wouldn’t wanna take up
space on the dance floor besides I got two left feet as it is. Yeah, definitely you telling me. You seem like a sports guy. You play anything? Do I play any sports? I used to play stick ball back in the day but that was a long time ago. Very cool, very cool. He looks over at you and says, how about yourself? What’s your name friend? I’m Jeffery. Jeffery, Rob nice to meet ya. Great to meet you too. He looks over at you and says, so I imagine you’re gonna
be writing this wedding off on your taxes, huh? (laughs) Absolutely. You know what? You know what I heard? I heard they’re trying
to pass some sort of law that’s gonna hike up the tax
rate for people who are… I believe in trickle
down theory, don’t you? You look by the way and
he says, trickle down? He goes, trickle down,
Reagan was a genius. Right!
Reagan was a genius. I get him, I’m trying to
get him so hyped up on this. That man, I mean what he
did for this country– I go for the deeper thoughts. (all laughing) You go to her deeper thoughts. As you go to her deeper thoughts you see that she starts
doing lines off the table. The other three young men
and the other young woman at the table who are all very pale watch her do lines by herself and you see that all of them
start to tap their fingers. As you go deeper into her thoughts you see other instances of
her going out with these guys doing drugs, the people surrounding her, fangs distending from their mouth, sinking their fangs into
her and drinking her blood. Not enough to kill her but getting her high enough
that they can get a high off of drinking her blood. Okay. By the way, you do not see the old man drinking blood from her. You see, he looks at you and says, Reagan he was great. I mean, I never voted for him because I’m not a big voting guy but I donated like crazy to his campaign. Go ahead, first of all
give me a wild magic roll for that detect thoughts. Oh no. Two. (Brennan laughs) Now it’s one and two. Could you also be kind enough
to give me a deception check? Oh cool, I think I have good deception. Yeah, it’s plus eight. 19 with, I do plus these. Yeah, that’s 27. Hoo! Rad, so you see he talks to
you a little while longer. After the girl’s done a couple lines you see that she looks around,
makes eye contact with you as her eyes kind of well up with tears, stands up and walks
outside with the other four and it’s just you and the
old man, Rob who are here. You see he looks over to you and says, well thanks again for being
Johnny on the spot here. And what was it again? Jeffery. Jeffery, right (laughs). Wouldn’t wanna say your real name or bubbles would come
out of my mouth, huh? Help. (all laughing) I do not let him know that
that registered with me. I’m like, sure buddy and then I walk away. Cool.
Nauseous. Rad, what does Pete do as he walks away? I’m trying to find Kingston. Cool, you go over to Kingston. Kingston’s head is on a
swivel, you’re looking around. You’ve clocked Pete
having this interaction. Do I recognize this man? You don’t recognize this man. Okay, Pete, what’s going on? What the? Okay, we have to talk
but we can’t talk here. Okay, you wanna dance? Yeah. (all laughing) Of course I do. We can dance and talk. So we’re like dancing– Come and dance. This is perfect. Okay, dude so do you see
those crazy people over there. Yeah. So, you know that girl who
looks like, really sad? Uh-huh. Okay, I detected her thoughts. It seems like those other three really pale people
with her are vampires. They make her do a bunch of drugs and then they suck her blood
to get high off of her. Okay, that’s not that crazy. No, but the crazy thing is– Keep dancing, all right? This isn’t a dance? So you know like, the older guy? Uh-huh. I think maybe that was my dad. What? I’m not sure what happened something. I haven’t that man before. My dad is a head and he said someone helped
me by making bubbles come out of his mouth and taking him away. He knew what you had done to your father? This old guy knew what
had happened to my dad– Have you told anyone else about your dad? I don’t know. I think I told Alejandro
about what happened to my dad. I think I’m not sure. Do you guys remember me telling this story about my dad and the bubbles? I don’t think we’ve heard this before. It’s cool though. Gotta say if you can teach me that trick, that’s cool, I would do that. I think I told you guys because then someone was like
we can kill him if you want and I said, yeah please
go ahead and kill my dad. Somebody in your head? Yeah, whoever Lazarus is
someone evil did this to me and I let them. Okay, I don’t like this man in the corner. Misty, you got any thoughts? I don’t know. I don’t know how I feel about– Is he still there? Can I look over and see
if he’s still there? I don’t recognize him, you recognize him? I feel like I would know
everybody at this wedding. Exactly, I feel like anybody I don’t know I don’t like them. Yeah, you see that he’s now speaking, he’s talking to Don
Confetti over in the corner chatting and laughing with each other. (gasps) Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! Okay so, I don’t know if this is crazy. – [Lou] Pete! Okay, I gotta keep dancing. So what I think happened
is you guys know how we keep hearing Lazarus is
like, I’m leaving today. Uh-huh, I mean you keep hearing it and you keep telling us about it. But anyway, so my dad got carried away because he was a piece of
and I was fine with it, but what if this Lazarus guy took over his soul or something and
then used that fountain to like clean it. Something happened with
that fountain and cleaning like bad people. I don’t know. Misty, do you wanna use your
connections with Don Confetti to go over have him
introduce you to this man. That’s a great idea. Or try something like that. Checking in with the other
people at the wedding. What are you guys up to right now. I guess we’ll go join
these, we see the whole– I’m wasted and trying
to start a conga line. (all laughing) No one understands what I’m doing. They’re all so small. In that case I grab Sofie. You doing okay? Trying to start a conga
line but with their heads. I’m dancing with my date, she’s just sort of on my chest. This buff, hot firefighter
with a pigeon on his chest. It’s like my necklace. I’m gonna snap a picture of that and send it to the girls at the salon and be like Mr. March has a girlfriend. But dancing towards them, yeah. I go over to the table and I’m like, Don, who’s your friend? And I do that old lady creep like arm around the waist with this guy. Cool, make a persuasion check
for me if you’d be so kind. I would love to. Can we say that you guys filled us in on what you were talking about. And actually I’m gonna need you to make that check with disadvantage. All right. That was a 16 and this is a 13 so 23. 23, cool. You slide your arm around the guy. Feels like a human dude, older middle-aged kind of human guy. You see that Don Confetti
says, oh Misty Moore I’m surprised you have not
already met my friend Robert. Robert, please say hi to Misty. You see where this guy Robert turns to you and says, Ms. Moore it’s
a pleasure to meet you. Charmed I’m sure, and I
give him my hand like this. Kisses your hand. You see that Don says, Misty is of course a very accomplished stage actress. She is, you know, very famous. Robert nods and says, I’ve
seen some of your performances. What a knockout. Oh, thank you so much. It’s always great to meet, I don’t even like the word fan
but people who enjoy my work. We live in a city of artists. That’s why we’re here, you know? It’s so important to experience so many of the things in the city that
people miss out on you know. So what do you do? Oh, I work in finance,
I’m a friend of the Don’s. Fantastic, finance is also
a great hub of the city. Artists we wouldn’t be able to survive without the finance guys. Look, I mean all of us
would love to buy into this starving artist myth
where you have to be starving to make art but let’s be realistic. When you have a nice bed
everything’s a little easier. You know what I mean? And I doubt you’ve been
starving for sometime Ms. Moore. Well, you know I mean
starving is relative, broke is relative. You know what I mean? But I do fine, I do fine. Mm, I’m sure. You see he looks over. The vampires and the
young girl who now is, she’s like bone pale and kind of having a hard time standing. They come out wiping their
mouths, sit back down and you see Robert looks
over at you and says, well you’ll have to excuse me. It looks like the other
vampires have come back. And he turns around and
walks away from you. It’s been a pleasure. Don looks over and says,
yes it has been a pleasure. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go and verbally harass the
DJ because he is playing a bunch of duds and these
songs are too hard to dance to. I’ll be right back. Don, you’ve gotta come
dance with me though. I will do what I can, but know this. I only do this because you
have asked this favor of me on the day of my daughter’s wedding. He zips away. Did I use up my favor? I could’ve had anything in the world. I feel like I’ve heard
that something’s going on with this girl. It looks really predatory
her surrounded by these dudes and her looking faint. I think as like a woman in her 30s I’m looking at her being
like, I would like to try to help her out. I feel maternal towards her. So I wanna go over there and just say, I’m so sorry I need help getting
out of this dress to pee. Do you guys mind if I
borrow this sweet girl? It’s like such a nightmare getting out of this dress to pee so I just need a friend in the bathroom. You see the young woman looks up to you and looks at the other
people here and says, I’m so sorry, I’m fine thank you. Oh, yeah I’m not worried about you. I’m worried about me and peeing. Give me a persuasion check. 10. You see that she looks and says, I’m fine thanks. Pete, are you still reading her mind? Um-hum, am I? I believe probably you are. You read in her mind that
she actually doesn’t want to leave the table. She feels afraid and up but is also like choosing to be here in some regard or another. Okay, cool. I think I go up to Soph and I’m like, heard you, did I overhear
you need some help in the bathroom? Yes.
They’re gender neutral at this wedding, I can go with you. Great, that’d be so helpful. Thank you so much. If you ever need a haircut
you have beautiful hair and I give her my business card. Can you give me a deception check as well? A nine. You see that Robert speaks up and says, now forgive me for being blunt
but you folks aren’t worried for the safety of my companion,
Melissa here are you? Okay, I’m just gonna lay it out there. First off I’m a little drunk because I’m going though a divorce and it’s hard to be at a wedding. Second off, if I see a young woman surrounded by men who’s looking
a little sick to her stomach at a place where alcohol is being imbibed at an alarming rate I’m gonna step in and make sure she didn’t get roofied. He nods, looks around. You see he says, Melissa you’re free to go if you want to go. She looks over at him and
says, I don’t wanna go. I pop in like, she looks like
she’s having a great time. You guys look like you’re
having a great time, Sofie! Sorry, I just wanted to make sure someone didn’t get roofied. And we need more strong
women like you, right? Thank you, thank you now will you help me get out of
my dress so I can pee? Yeah, of course, of course. Robert says, while we’re
handing out business cards Jeffery if you ever wanna talk. He hands you a business card. His name doesn’t appear on it but it has a sort of address and the name of a prominent hedge fund on it. It doesn’t say, Robert. Does not say Robert. Oh a hedge fund. It’s like a businesses business card. Doesn’t have his name on it. Do either of you have
detect good and evil? I do not. I have protection from that. Oh, you have protection but not detection. I feel like I have that but I don’t have it anymore.
Vampire’s the bad, right? Still dancing. I feel like I’m really
triggered by the bubbles comment still with my dad and I’m
just kind of seething. Cool. I don’t know what I’m doing but I know I’m angry. That interaction shook me back into place. I’m no longer as upset about the wedding. I’m explaining to you
all the thought stuff and how she actually wanted to be there, and so there’s some sort of weird setup. Is Kugrash watching this? Yeah, I think we’re all kinda circled up. I think after, once these
guys started dancing I think we all kinda came
together and then we’re– Cool, you look at this guy Robert. You’ve met this guy before. You met this guy a long time ago. What do I know about him? You know that he’s very
powerful, very dangerous guy who you only met in passing one time. Okay, does he know Gabriela? Okay. Who’s Gabriela? Hey, you know it doesn’t matter. This guy is bad news. Okay, I have a theory. I have a theory based
off of what Pete said. They’re laundering souls and selling them to the soulless. What? That’s kind of brilliant. So intense. That’s what I think they’re doing. They’re stealing souls
and then cleaning them in the Bethesda Fountain and then selling them to people who don’t have souls–
Like vampires. They’re selling passports. Yeah. I’m so… I don’t know if this is
too righty about this but I think I’m so worked
up about this Robert guy and he knows something about my dad and I’m talking to them and I’m like that fucking guy knows
something about my dad and when I point I activate true strike. Awesome.
Is that possible? Yeah that’s great. ‘Cause I know it takes a whole turn. Roll wild magic for me. Oh great, one and two? – [Brennan] One and two now. Six. Hey! All right everybody, let’s
get Pete, let’s calm down. We ’bout ready to go, right? That’s true, we are depleted, we already had a battle today. Does he look the same as he did back then? He does, yep. He’s a vampire, what a good cover. In your story you said you didn’t see him drinking the blood. It was the other three. Yeah, yeah so this guy– He’s a business man. You guys are, by the way, talking very loudly at
the wedding right now. Hey everybody, why don’t
we go back to my place? Okay yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪ Hey macarena ♪ We grab her. You guys bounce from– As we leave I just wanna
write a really long, really heartfelt way too intimate thing in the wedding book. – [Ally] The guest book? Take it, take the wedding book! Okay, well you guys can
take me, I’m writing. Don’t get us killed for a wedding book. No, I’m writing about
the beauty of marriage. Can I leave a $50 check as a gift? Absolutely man, yes. I’d also like to leave a– Can I give, I wanna just
give like a head nod or like a little salute to that guy to see how he reacts to me. He has no recognition of you at all and looks very confused. I leave a couple tickets for opening night of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” as my gift. You just carry those around on you. Don’t you? I add my name to her card. A Kugrash paw. Also from me. I ask the wedding planner if
there’s another guest book ’cause I filled this one up. You guys proceed to bounce. You see that as you’re
all getting ready to leave Perry comes over to you Kugresh. Hey, what’s going on? Hey, we gotta head out. I kiss him. (all laughing) Wow, wow, wow, wow! They’re like making out. We’re like Kugresh we gotta go. Incredible. – [Siobhan] I have one more thing. I adjust my contacts so I can see better. I know I’m leading him on but I feel like we got a short-term– Sometimes you gotta do the nice thing, not the right thing. Right, yeah. Do vampires show up in photographs? ‘Cause they don’t show up in mirrors. Do vampires show up in photographs? I don’t think they show
up in photographs, no. Great, so can we take a
selfie with the vampires and Robert in the background? Yes. (all cheering) To see if Robert’s a vampire? That’s brilliant! Esther, this is me at the wedding. Don’t sent it to anyone. And then I look at the picture. At that table Melissa
shows up, the young woman and Robert shows up. So he does show up. All right everybody, back
to my house let’s go. You guys dip arriving back at Kingston’s. What do you guys do when you get there? Do you think your mother
has any cinnamon rolls? Baking or some kind of? My mother, what time is it? It’s probably like 11 o’clock at night. My mother should be in bed. I promise you if I went down there and asked for cinnamon
rolls she would wake up and cook them gladly,
but we’re not doing that. Do you have any sort of
deli meats or anything? I just sort of snacked on tiny pixie food. What do I have in my house? I feel like I have a
bunch of fresh vegetables and can I make like a– You can make a big salad. I make a big salad. Lots of baby spinach, I
chop up some tomatoes, some bell peppers. You go to the farmer’s market for this? Of course I go to the farmer’s market. I’m all about– I’m on your page. I start making some hummus
in a food processor with you. We’re all just cooking. We’re all wet in nice clothes cooking. I’m making eggplant rollatini. This is us three bumping
elbows in the kitchen. You go to Queens for the mozzarella? It’s delicious. I mean, of course. Only the best. Can I just as a precaution
use divine sense to see if there’s any? You scan the place. No, Kingston’s apartment. Nice. You do detect a very
strong undead presence on the top of the refrigerator. It’s the mummy, all right? It’s just the mummy all right? – [Brian] You have a mummy? Is this what the obsidian ankh is about? Yes, it’s from when we
fought the mummy back– Oh darlings, it was so much fun. The stories we have. I have nightmares really easily, what? Well, if you have nightmares shouldn’t we not tell you
the scary thing we did? Tell her about the
scary thing that we did. Yeah guys– The Metropolitan Museum has
so much fascinating stuff and it’s free. I mean it’s not free
it’s a suggested donation but if you pay for the Metropolitan Museum you’re a goddamn fool. The Met isn’t free anymore. They changed it, it’s $25. I have my phone out and I’m doing a little seven minute workout. Great. Okay, great everybody’s settled, we’ve got salad on the table eggplant rollatini,
some fresh made hummus. What’s going on? I know this guy from the
’80s and he hasn’t aged. So whether or not he’s a
vampire, he’s something. May I ask you Misty, and before when I mentioned your age– I’m doing this. Before I was scolded at by a man who tried to snort human remains,
so let’s let that sit with everyone, but are you a vampire or is there a way to be immortal
that Ronald could be it? Darling, I’m a fairy. So is Ronald possibly a fairy? I mean it’s possible but
I have never met this man before in my life and the fairy community in New York City is pretty tight. I mean look, I’m friends with Don Confetti and that guy’s not a great dude but he is one of my people, you know? You gotta stick together. Kugrash I hate to pin it to you man but you know this guy from the ’80s how? He hangs out around humans. I don’t think he hangs
out around this type. I think he hangs out in the real world. I feel like you’re not
telling us something. In what context did you meet him? Did you, I don’t know
get caught in a rat trap in his apartment? Oh okay, let’s not be rude. Was that rude? I’m on your page I’m sorry. Kug, we’re not trying to put you in this page you don’t want to be put in but this seems to be something– I wasn’t always a rat. (Ally gasps) What? (laughs) Nice! Guys, that’s all for this
chapter of Dimension 20. But wait, more full
episodes call out to you from the realms beyond Dropout.tv. Will you come to their aid and sign up for your free trial today? There I beheld it, an
aspect of a gray child that I had searched for for many long years. This being not the realm and the being,
monarch of the sixth borough. The child, the gray orphan, the spirit of the dreaming realm beyond the streets of
the city I had known.

100 thoughts on “A Pixie Wedding (Unsleeping City #5 – Part 1)

  1. Me:Oh nice, new episode!
    Brennan: Agressively whispering to the mike The fountain of purifi—
    Me: throws headphones over the room JESUS CHRIST!

  2. Intrepid heroes: What do you know about Robert?
    Kugrash: Spoiler Spoiler Cliffhanger!
    Sorry, don't wanna spoil it for latecomers

  3. Welcome to the OFFICIAL D20 Channel! Subscribe and ring the bell to catch all new episodes and other surprises!
    DON'T SLEEP. Sign up for DROPOUT: http://bit.ly/2KvZ2Ke
    Live outside CANADA, AUSTRALIA, NEW ZEALAND or the U.S.? Sign up here: http://bit.ly/2LML3BX

  4. Fun fact: Vampires used to not show up in mirrors buecause they were lined with silver, bane of all things evil. They could see themselves on any other reflective surface though.

  5. Spoilers:

    About the whitewashing souls theory and Robert showing up in the picture: Vampires don't show in pictures/mirrors because they don't have a soul… Maybe Robert got one from the whitewashing

  6. This arch went from silly to super intense so fast! You are so good at making super intimidating characters appear still scary even when zany shit is happening, that moment of silence after each line makes me shudder

  7. Yes!!!! New Episode! That whole wedding just took a 180 turn and now I'm kind of scared of what goes on in Brennan's mind when he works on these campaigns.

    *God damnit auto correct

  8. I feel like it would be incredibly creepy to see Pete walk up, basically admit to eavesdropping, and then offer to help a woman out of a dress to pee. Yeah Pete used to be a woman too but the casual observer would not know that.

  9. Me: ahh, what a nice episode, let’s see how it ends
    Kugrash: reveals the most intense plot point to his character
    Brennan (right after): haha, nice, ThaT’S AlL For ThIs ChAptEr Of DiMEnsiOn 20

  10. oh ho ho sa-weet criminently i needed this so bad, this was an awesome birthday present, and a good way to take my mind off renovations. THANKS GUYS!!

  11. Ok, so apparently you have some religious reasons for not accepting PayPal… That's fine… Want me to send me some of my Magic Cards as payment?

  12. I truly love this campaign. I've played a lot of table top rpgs over the years, and this is one of the best stories I have ever seen/heard. Your whole table is awesome, D20!

  13. Not gonna lie, if someone set up a campaign like this online, I'd join it 100%. The idea of a modern world with a sort of 'underworld' of magic is super cool!

  14. This episode was amazing, wow. This show keeps getting better and better, and seriously, where does collegehumor even find these amazing people? Love this shit.

  15. I cut out perry's speech about toxic relationships and sent it to my best buddy. It's not me saying it, it's a pigeon! 21:32

  16. Dimension 20 is the best part of my week <3 Just settled down with my dinner and am ready for another wonderful adventure!

  17. This campaign at the beginning: NYC Christmas shenanigans! Brennan and players/characters cracking jokes! The ease-you-into-it transition to a mysterious realm where Santa’s got gross clones!

    Campaign now: Brennan making characters do rolls without much clarification as to why or what’s going on, and we’re all worried by some of his expressions, vaguely terrifying Reaganomics-supporting magical mobsters, still no one can me tell if the pigeons are in danger, is Misty gonna have to have a Broadway-themed showdown with Titania, all the characters are slowly falling into a weird hellscape of uncertainty…

    Me: is now curious and emotionally invested for better or worse, but also a bit terrified of Brennan.

  18. I just wanna say that the intro theme to unsleeping city is literally one of my favorite theme songs ever. It’s just so good!

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