Aziz Ansari Accused Of Sexual Assault: Are The Charges Fair?


>>OVER THE WEEKEND COMEDIAN
AZIZ ANSARI WAS TALKED ABOUT, WRITTEN ABOUT IN A PUBLICATION
KNOWN AS BABE. AN AUTHOR RECOUNTED A STORY BY AN ANONYMOUS WOMAN TO TALK ABOUT
HER AND HER EXPERIENCE WITH AZIZ ANSARI. THE TITLE OF THE PIECE WAS
CALLED, “I WENT ON A DATE WITH AZIZ ANSARI, IT TURNED INTO THE WORST NIGHT OF MY LIFE.” THE
KIND OF PRIVACY FOR A DEVASTATING ACCOUNT OF SEXUAL
MISCONDUCT, CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR OR SOMETHING BAD. AS YOU READ HER ACCOUNT YOU
LEARN AZIZ ANSARI WAS INTERESTED IN HAVING SEX WITH HER, SHE DID NOT WANT TO, THEY DID NOT END UP
DOING WHAT SHE DIDN’T WANT TO DO AFTER SHE MADE IT CLEAR AND I
WAS LEFT WONDERING WHAT THE ISSUE WAS. BUT DON’T TAKE THAT FROM ME,
HERE ARE THE IMPORTANT PARTS OF THE IMPORTANT PIECE. JUDGE FOR YOURSELF. THIS IS HOW IT WAS DESCRIBED
IN THE BABE PIECE. THIS WAS FOLLOWING A
DATE THEY HAD. THEY MET AFTER AN AWARD
CEREMONY, THEY WERE AT A PARTY, HE HAD SOME SORT OF OLD-SCHOOL CAMERA. SHE IS AN ASPIRING PHOTOGRAPHER
SO SHE NOTICED THE CAMERA AND THEY SPARKED THE CONVERSATION. LATER ON WHEN THEY BOTH FLEW
BACK TO NEWARK THEY WENT OUT ON THIS DATE. WHICH SHE IS DETAILING HERE IS
THE EXPERIENCE SHE HAD AFTER THEY WENT ON THIS DATE.>>SHE ALSO WROTE THAT DURING THE
DINNER HE ORDERED WHITE WINE AND SHE HAD WANTED RED WINE. AND SHE ALSO SAID THAT HE GOT
THE BILL AND PAID IN A HURRY AND THEN THEY WENT BACK TO
HIS APARTMENT.>>YEAH. LET ME GIVE YOU MORE. THAT’S AN
IMPORTANT PART OF THE PIECE BECAUSE “GRACE” MAKES IT VERY CLEAR THAT SHE DID NOT
WANT TO HAVE SEX. AT THAT POINT HE SAID LET’S GO
BACK TO THE COUCH AND CHILL WITH OUR CLOSE ON. SO HE DIDN’T PRESSURE HER OR
FORCE HER TO HAVE SEX AFTER SHE SAID NO. HE COMPLIED WITH WHAT SHE
WANTED. LET ME GIVE YOU MORE. SO AT THAT POINT THEY WERE
HANGING OUT ON THE COUCH BUT THEY BOTH DIDN’T HAVE THEIR
CLOTHES ON.>>
SO HE DIDN’T PLAY WITH HER HAIR.>>AT THAT POINT HE THOUGHT ALL
RIGHT- AT THAT POINT AS THEY WERE WATCHING TV, A SEINFELD
EPISODE, SHE TOLD HIM ALL OF YOU GUYS ARE THE SAME, USE AN
EXPLETIVE, AND THEN DECIDED TO LEAVE. HE CALLED HER A CAB AND
SHE LEFT. SHE JUST SAYS DURING THE ENTIRE
CAB RIDE SHE WAS CRYING. THAT WAS THE GIST OF THE STORY. THE WAY IT WAS DESCRIBED BY HER
WAS THAT IT TOOK HER A WHILE TO VALIDATE THIS EXPERIENCE AS
SEXUAL ASSAULTS BUT SHE DOES FEEL IT WAS SEXUAL ASSAULT EVEN
THOUGH SHE NEVER VERBALLY TOLD HIM I DON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU UNTIL THE VERY END.>>IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT IN
THESE STORIES TO TRY TO WALK IN THE OTHER PERSON’S FOOT AND SEE
ANOTHER’S PERSPECTIVE. I AM A GUY SO OF COURSE I SEE
THE GUYS PERSPECTIVE FIRST. BACK WHEN I WAS A CONSERVATIVE
THIS STORY WOULD HAVE FLIPPED ME OUT AND I WOULD HAVE NOT
BOTHERED TO SEE THE OTHER PERSPECTIVE. EVEN SO LET’S LOOK AT
BOTH SIDES. FIRST TO GET HER POINT OF VIEW
AND THE POINT OF VIEW OF A LOT OF WOMEN. A LOT OF TIMES THEY ARE
PRESSURED INTO SEX AND A LOT OF PEOPLE GET PRESSURED INTO SEX
WHEN THEY SAID NO. FOR THOSE GROUP OF WOMEN WHO
HAVE GONE THROUGH A HORRIFIC EXPERIENCE, WHEN THEY SEE A
STORY LIKE THIS IT IS HARD FOR THEM NOT TO PERSONALIZE IT AND FEEL LIKE I WAS THERE. IN THIS CASE IS AN OPEN QUESTION
AS TO WHETHER SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAPPENED NEXT. I THINK OLD ME WOULD’VE GOTTEN
ANGRY AT THOSE PEOPLE.>>I HAVE TO JUMP IN. I AM A WOMAN, MY NATURAL BIAS IS
TO UNDERSTAND A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE BEFORE I CONSIDER THE PERSPECTIVE OF ANYONE ELSE. AS A WOMAN I ALSO HAVE HAD MY
OWN PERSONAL EXPERIENCES THAT WERE SHOCKINGLY SIMILAR AND I
NEVER ONCE THOUGHT OF MYSELF AS A VICTIM. THE REASON WHY IS BECAUSE AS
SOON AS I MADE IT CLEAR THAT I WAS NOT INTERESTED IN ANY TYPE OF SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP,
THE GUY STOPPED. FOR ME TO PUBLICLY OUT THAT
PERSON WHILE CONCEALING MY IDENTITY AND DESTROYING HIS LIFE
AND CAREER I THINK IS OUTRAGEOUS. LET ME BE CLEAR, NONVERBAL
COMMUNICATION IS NOT CLEAR. WHAT MIGHT SEEM LIKE CLEAR
NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION TO YOU MIGHT NOT BE CLEAR COMMUNICATION
FOR THE OTHER PARTY. IT IS SO INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT TO VERBALLY COMMUNICATE, WHICH SHE
EVENTUALLY DID AND IMMEDIATELY AFTER HE COMPLIED.>>ONE MORE THING A LOT OF WOMEN
ñ IN THIS CASE THEY HAD ORAL SEX AND SHE SAYS HE KEPT MOVING HER HAND DOWN TO HIS GENITALS. EVERYONE HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN
1000 UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATIONS. BUT WOMEN HAVE FELT THAT WAY AND
THE SEX ACTUALLY HAPPENED AND THEY FELT THAT THEY SHOULD’VE
SAID SOMETHING. SO WHEN THEY SEE THE STORY THEY
REACT IN A WAY THAT DAMMIT I HAVE BEEN THERE. BUT IT IS ALSO IMPORTANT THAT WE
BE FAIR TO EVERYONE INVOLVED AND TAKE EVERY STORY ON
ITS OWN MERITS. IN THIS CASE SHE DIDN’T SAY SHE
PARTICIPATED ALL ALONG. I BROUGHT UP THE WINE THING AND
THE HAIR THING BECAUSE WHY ARE YOU PUTTING THAT IN THE STORY? IT LOSES CREDIBILITY FOR
YOURSELF.>>I THINK IT IS IMPORTANT TO USE
THE EXACT QUOTE FOR THE WINE. IT STOOD OUT FOR ME AS WELL FOR
THE WORDING SHE UTILIZED. SHE SAID IT WAS WHITE,” I DIDN’T
GET TO CHOOSE I PREFER RED BUT IT WAS WHITE WINE.” LOOK, SOME PEOPLE LOVE TO
MENTION MICRO AGGRESSIONS. THERE ARE LITTLE STATEMENTS MADE
THROUGHOUT THAT MADE IT SEEM AS THOUGH SHE HAD ABSOLUTELY NO
CONTROL OVER THE SITUATION.>>THIS ASSUMES THAT WOMEN
HAVE NO AGENCY. WE ALL WANT WOMEN TO BE STRONG
AND INDEPENDENT. YOU CAN SAY HEY I PREFER RED
WINE, YOU CAN SAY THAT. GOES TO A STATE OF MIND HERE. AND THE SAME WITH THE HAIR. YOU NEVER TOLD HIM TO PLAY
WITH THE HAIR. THE NEAR TIMES WRITER WROTE I AM
A PROUD FEMINIST, AND AZIZ ANSARI CANNOT READ YOUR MIND. SOMETIMES I GET IN TROUBLE WHEN
I SAY THIS BUT IF YOU ARE IN AN UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION PLEASE
BE STRONG ñ I KNOW SOMETIMES IT IS HARD. SOMETIMES A MAN IS PHYSICALLY
INTIMIDATING AND YOU ARE SCARED. IF YOU SAID THAT ABOUT SOMEONE
WHO WAS DATE RAPED THAT HIS VICTIM BLAMING. BUT IT IS ALSO TRUE THAT IF YOU
DON’T WANT TO SAY DO SOMETHING YOU SHOULD SAY IT.>>HE CAN READ YOUR MIND. PERIOD.>>IT APPEARS HE HAD NO IDEA. YOU MIGHT NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU
MIGHT SAY HE SHOULD’VE KNOWN MY NONVERBAL CLUES. AND MAYBE HE SHOULD OF, IF HE
WAS A SUPERCOOL GUY HE WOULD’VE BEEN LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT SHE
DOESN’T LOOK LIKE SHE IS INTO IT. AND YOU KNOW WHAT GUYS? IF SHE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE SHE IS
INTO IT FOR GOD SAKES STOP. THIS IS THE WORLD WE ARE IN NOW. MAYBE IT IS A SLIGHTLY BETTER
THING BY THE WAY. BUT IN TERMS OF BLAMING AZIZ
ANSARI, IT IS TRUE YOU CAN’T READ YOUR MIND. IF YOU DON’T WANT HIM TO DO
SOMETHING SAY IT INSTEAD OF MUMBLING OR HOPING THAT HE
UNDERSTANDS YOUR NONVERBAL CUES.>>AND BY THE WAY SHE DID, SHE
SAID NO AT ONE POINT AND HE SAID LET’S PUT ON OUR CLOTHES
AND CHILL OUT ON THE COUCH. IF A GUY WHEN YOU SAY NO HE PUTS
ON HIS CLOTHES AND STOPS. IF THAT GUY IS EQUALLY AS GUILTY
AS THE GUY WHO DOESN’T, THEN YOU DIMINISH WILL RAPE AND SEXUAL
ASSAULT MEANS AND YOU HAVE DONE GREAT DAMAGE TO THE
MOVEMENT OF #METOO. WE JUST DID THE ELIZA DUSHKU
STORY YESTERDAY, IT IS HEART WRENCHING.>>JUST TO FURTHER SOLIDIFY THE
FACT THAT AZIZ ANSARI HAD NO IDEA, THE NEXT DAY HE
SENT HER A TEXT MESSAGE.>>BY THE WAY THAT IS NOW BEING
USED AGAINST THEM. THERE IS AN ARTICLE IN LAW AND
CRIME THAT SINCE HE APOLOGIZED HE MIGHT HAVE ACCIDENTALLY CONFESSED TO TWO CRIMES, THESE
ARE REALLY SERIOUS ISSUES. IF YOU ARE GOING TO ANONYMOUSLY
ACCUSE SOMEONE OF SEXUAL ASSAULTS ñ IF YOU UNDERSTAND
THAT COULD RUIN HIS CAREER AND HIS LIFE ñ PEOPLE ARE NOT GOING TO READ THE
ENTIRETY OF THE ARTICLE. I DON’T CARE IF YOU GOT ANGRY AT
MATT DAMON JOSH- BASED ON MY READING OF THE STORY I HOPE HE
DOESN’T FACE LEGAL CONSEQUENCES. BUT IF WE ARE GOING IN THIS
DIRECTION, IT MAKES GUYS RELUCTANT TO APOLOGIZE AND TRY
TO SEE IT YOUR WAY.>>I THINK WHAT IS LACKING IN
THIS DISCUSSION IS THAT PEOPLE ARE AFRAID TO COME FORWARD AND
SAY IT. IF WE GET BLOWBACK, THEN
IT HAPPENS. WE ARE NOT DIFFERENTIATED
BETWEEN A BAD DATE FROM A SEXUAL ASSAULT. IN SOME CASES WOMEN FELT
SLIGHTED AND WERE RAPED. YOU SHOULD COMPARE THOSE TWO
THINGS, BUT YOU CAN’T LUMP THEM INTO THE SAME GROUP. ANYONE WHO HAS THE AUDACITY TO
SPEAK OUT AGAINST THAT, THAT ON NUANCED DISCUSSION THAT IS
TAKING PLACE IN THE COUNTRY THAT’S DEMONIZED. I THINK THAT UNFORTUNATELY STOPS
AN IMPORTANT CONVERSATION FROM HAPPENING. DESTROYING THE CAREERS OF PEOPLE
WHO HAVE NOT ACTUALLY COMMITTED CRIMES. THAT IS A VERY SCARY WORLD
TO LIVE IN. I’M SEEING THINGS HAPPEN NOW FOR
POLITICAL REASONS, AND THAT STUFF CONCERNS ME BECAUSE IT
DOES DAMAGE ON SO MANY DIFFERENT LEVELS. IT ESPECIALLY MINIMIZES CASES OF
SEXUAL ASSAULT AND RAPE WHEN YOU LUMP EVERYTHING TOGETHER
LIKE THIS.>>WHEN WE COME BACK I WANT TO
DISCUSS ONE LAST THING WHICH IS CULTURAL DIFFERENCES IN AMERICA,
I THINK MILLENNIALS ARE SEEING THINGS DIFFERENTLY, SO
DIFFERENTLY THAN THE REST OF US, IT IS FASCINATING. LET’S GO TO ASHLEY BANFIELD
MAKING A SIMILAR POINT.>>THE ME TOO MOVEMENT HAS
RIGHTED A LOT OF WRONGS AND IT HAS MADE YOUR CAREER PATH MUCH SMOOTHER. YET YOU LOOK THAT GIFT HORSE IN
THE MOUTH AND CHISELED THE WAY THAT POWERFUL MOVEMENT WITH
YOUR PUBLIC ACCUSATION. I’M GOING TO REPEAT THIS, IF YOU
WERE SEXUALLY ASSAULT TO GO TO THE COPS, IF YOU ARE SEXUALLY HARASSED JEOPARDIZING YOUR WORK
SPEAK UP AND SPEAK OUT LOUD, BUT BY YOUR OWN DESCRIPTIONS
THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED. YOU HAD AN UNPLEASANT DATE AND
YOU DID NOT LEAVE. THAT IS ON YOU. ALL THE GAMES THAT HAVE BEEN
ACHIEVED ON YOUR BEHALF AND MINE ARE NOW BEING COMPROMISED BUT
THE ALLEGATIONS THAT YOU THREW OUT THERE, I AM GOING TO CALL
THEM RECKLESS AND HOLLOW. I CANNOT NAME YOU PUBLICLY AND
SENTENCE YOU TO A SIMILAR CAREER HIT AS AZIZ ANSARI
BECAUSE YOU CHOSE TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS, LUCKY YOU. BUT AS YOU GROW ON YOUR
PHOTOGRAPHY CAREER, I DO HOPE YOU REMEMBER THAT WHAT YOU DID
TO SOMEONE ELSE’S CAREER BECAUSE OF THAT BAD DATE THAT WAS NOT A
SEXUAL ASSAULT OR HARASSMENT BY YOUR DESCRIPTION. I HOPE THE NEXT TIME YOU GOT A
BAD DATE YOU STAND UP, SOONER, SMOOTH OUT YOUR DRESS,
ANYBODY WELL LEAVE. THE ONLY SENTENCE A GUY LIKE
THAT DESERVES IS A BAD CASE OF BLUE BALLS, NOT A HOLLYWOOD
BLACKBALL.>>IT DOES DAMAGE TO THE ME TOO
MOVEMENT BECAUSE IT ALLOWS GUYS TO
SAY I KNEW IT WAS ALL BS FROM THE BEGINNING. I CAN GO ON AND ON. HARVEY WEINSTEIN WOULD LITERALLY
BARGE INTO THEIR HOUSE AFTER CLOTHES AND RAPE THEM. THAT IS
WHAT I’M SAYING THE MOVEMENT HAS LIBERATED MILLIONS OF WOMEN. IN OUR OPINION IT DOES DAMAGE
TO THAT MOVEMENT. MAYBE I’M A LITTLE OLDER AND THE
PERSON WHO WROTE ABOUT THIS ONE THROUGH A COUPLE OF SEXUAL
ASSAULTS AND SHE IS A LITTLE OLDER. FOR MILLENNIAL WOMEN 25%
OF MILLENNIALS THINK ASKING SOMEONE FOR A DRINK IS
HARASSMENT. AND MORE THAN A THIRD SAID THAT
IF A MAN COMPLEMENTS A WOMAN’S WORK, IT IS HARASSMENT. NOT AT WORK JUST. . I DON’T KNOW HOW WE ARE GOING TO
GET ALONG IF THAT IS THE NEW STANDARD. THAT IS A CULTURAL DIFFERENCE. IF I LIKE THE GUY GREAT, BUT IF
NOT IT IS TERRIBLE. THERE IS GOING TO BE A LOT OF
HURT FEELINGS AND MISUNDERSTANDINGS BEFORE WE GET
TO A PLACE WHERE WE CAN BE JOINED AGAIN IS ONE COMMUNITY. RIGHT NOW THERE ARE VAST
DIFFERENCES AMONG US AND I THINK THAT
IS A CASE THAT IS BEGINNING TO HAVE PEOPLE SAY THIS MIGHT
HAVE GONE TOO FAR.

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