My Sexual Assault / Harassment Story

As you may be able to tell
already from the title, this video is going to be talking
about sexual assault slash harassment so viewer
discretion is advised. (light music) Hi, how are you? Welcome back. So this month is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I
wanted to tell my story. And before I really sat down to make this video, a couple weeks ago, I was trying to figure
out if this experience was sexual assault or sexual harassment, what really was the
difference between the two. And I was talking to Twitter,
I was talking to my friends, and talking on Facebook asking, “Is my experience sexual assault
or is it sexual harassment?” And people were saying yes it counts as assault but according to the law, you know, different state laws might consider them different things. Your experience might be this or that. So just because of what the month is I’m just going to say sexual assault. It’s just easier and it’s
easier for me to say, so…okay. So I was 15 when this happened. I was a sophomore in high school. And in high school I took the bus a lot. There were times that
I was driven to school, so a part of me is also wondering, man, why wasn’t I taken to school in a car instead when this happened. But yeah so it was about 7:15, 7:30 in the morning, obviously,
and I go to the bus stop. I, for the most part, was the only person at my particular stop. Occasionally, there would
be somebody else there, but, for the most part, it was me. There was one other
person on the other side of the neighborhood, the
entrance of it there. And I think she was
standing there on that day. So I’m standing right here and
the bus would typically come from behind and it would pick
up, let’s call her Tiffany. She was standing way over
there, they pick her up. And then normally after she gets picked up they turn directly right
and come to me first and then go down to
the bottom of this hill where there’s another bus stop. Every single time it has always happened, there has never ever been a moment when they went the opposite direction until that day. I was looking at the bus and I saw that they just kept going straight and around and I was very confused, and I was like did she not see
me standing here, you know? But even if somebody’s not standing there they usually take the same route, and I don’t know why it
was so different this time. But, you know, I decided to
wait, I wasn’t gonna fret. And I see this car pull in and they go past me, and then they kind of stop and I’m getting a little weirded
out but I’m trying not to freak out about it because I was living in a relatively safe area, safe town, safe neighborhood even. And so I’m kinda walkin’ around and this car is still
there and I look over and I notice that his window is down. [indistinct] It’s a man inside the car. And he’s looking at me and he just seems like a normal dude, right? I wanna say he was maybe
in his middle, late 20s, maybe early 30s, it’s been a long time. And he’s talkin’ to me. (sigh) Now I did have better hearing back then. In case you are new here, hi, I’m deaf. But when I was 15 I did have
significantly better hearing than I do now but I still
had a lot of hearing loss, and it was on my right side which is my nearly completely deaf ear. And he was talkin’ to me
and he’s far away ish. So I’m like okay, I don’t
know what this guy is saying and he’s talking to me, so what do I do? I moved a little bit closer,
just a couple of steps. I was still probably halfway and he’s talkin’ again, still
don’t understand him. I wonder if maybe he was either A, talking quietly on purpose just because, or I was just that deaf (laughs). But yeah, so it’s just every time he talks, I don’t know what he’s saying and I made the mistake of completely
walking over to his car, just outside his door and I still don’t know what he’s saying
and I was like sorry, what? And I looked down and
this guy has no pants on. He has a shirt on but he
doesn’t have any pants on, or maybe they were completely
down at his ankles. And he has his hand on his private area and he’s masturbating and I freaked out. I jumped back and my brain was just- I had no idea what to do
because nobody was outside. My bus stop was at a driveway,
somebody else’s driveway. Sometimes they’re outside but literally nobody was outside, Tiffany got picked up, she wasn’t gonna be able to see. And so I step back and I’m kind of stunned, frozen for a little bit, I think I’m gonna start running but I wonder am I gonna be able to make it back to my house
because the door is locked, deaf mother in the house
and my dad is at work, so what’s gonna happen? But right, just right
on time, as I step back and I take a second to be frozen, my bus turns and is coming up to me. They came from the other
side of the neighborhood, changed their route for whatever reason, but I couldn’t get
annoyed with that anymore because they were finally here. Somebody was going to
see what was going on. And what happened was as that bus started makin’ it’s turn and coming up the car sped off, he got spooked and he… Yeah, I was still just stunned. I wasn’t really sure what to do. Of course the bus driver didn’t see exactly what was going on, to her, from her perspective it just would have looked like there was a car there. Maybe I actually would
have known this person, and he was just, you know, walking off. Could have been my parent, you know, from the looks of it, you
know, from her perspective. She gets to my stop, I get on the bus and I just kinda sit there and
wait until I get to school. I didn’t tell my bus driver, I dunno why. But first period started, I had theater, I think it was about
30 minutes or so and I just couldn’t stop thinkin’ about it. I mean, it was a traumatic
experience, right? Obviously. I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about it and so I went up to my teacher
and I told her what happened and she got freaked out, obviously, and told me to go to the school officer. I went to him, I told him what happened and he pulled up the
registered sex offender list. He seemed like a average sized guy, he had a little bit of weight to him and I think he was a redhead and he had kind of just short hair. He asked me what kinda car he was driving, and I still don’t know my cars. I didn’t know my cars back then. And he was asking me the color and I couldn’t really figure
out what the color was. In some ways it looked white and in some ways it looked silver. And then, you know,
when he was driving off, the sun made it so that his car was also looking a little bit gold. And ,you know, I just-
I’m 15 years old, this has never happened to me before so I wasn’t really thinkin’
lemme get his license plate. I was just thinking holy
crap, what the hell happened? That unfortunately was it. I think the officer said that he was gonna look into it a little bit more, but I never got any word after that. So that was definitely a
traumatic experience for me. Things that I still think
about every once in awhile. I still get spooked when I see
cars randomly stop, you know? I don’t like it (chuckle) As a woman it’s frightening and as a deaf woman it’s frightening. I always wonder what
would have happened if I didn’t back away and
more importantly, what woulda happened if
the bus didn’t show up, if the bus took another, I don’t know,
five seconds maybe? What could have happened?
So yeah, that’s my story. That’s something that happened. Again, I was kind of on
the fence what to call this kind of experience
but everybody was like… It’s one of these things
at least, you know? You can definitely
consider it sexual assault because it’s something
that happened to you, it was about you, you know… Okay. I don’t have much else to say about that. But thank you for listening to my story if you made it this far. I will have a translate
link down below if you would like to translate this
video, that always helps a lot. Thank you for watching
and I will see you later. Bye. (light music)

50 thoughts on “My Sexual Assault / Harassment Story

  1. Hey all, time to get personal. I was nervous about posting this video since it's not a story that is like most of what I've seen, so I was worried that it wouldn't be something taken seriously. But a lot of people on Twitter encouraged me to go through with publishing this video, so this one's for you all. Also, because of a comment I received, I want to say I'm fully aware that many people have had it way worse and I have never said or assumed otherwise in this video. I only know that my story is simply very different from a lot of the experiences you hear on YouTube (but I know that this has also been the same experience for others). This is why I talked about it with many people, including people who work in this field as people who help survivors, before making this video. And it was confirmed by them and laws that I looked up that this fell under that umbrella. Here's one of the many, but simplest, links I looked at –

  2. I was watching this while a Consent workshop was going on in a different room at my college that I could hear.
    Proud that you could tell your story! I don't know how hard or easy it was for you but I think you did great talking about this piece of your life.
    Keep doing what you feel like you can do and what you're comfortable with!

  3. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry that this happened to you. It's disgusting that people do this.

  4. Hi Rikki! if you're interested, a lab I'm working in at the University of Texas is researching a possible treatment for sexual assault/ nonconsensual sex experiences! we give everyone 40$ after you complete the study. call us at (512)232-4805 or email at [email protected] to see if you're eligible- CANADA AND US are able to participate!!! thanks you guys.

  5. omg…I can’t believe that guy did that in front of you in public, thank goodness your bus showed up even though it was late to save you!

  6. I was also 15 and a sophomore in high school back then- I always thought it was cool that we're the same age lol

    But I digress, that was brave of you to share this story. I'm sorry you had to endure that.

  7. Ok. So.
    I do appreciate you being bold enough to speak this story for sex trafficking awareness/sexual assault awareness, however I do hope that in this you are aware of the fact that there are other people out there that have it much worse than just seeing a guy's private parts. He didn't touch you, didn't do anything to you sexually he just was being a dirty man in front of you. If the bus hadn't come to pick you up I do agree that it could have gone downhill, but it did not so I would not count this as a sexual harassment or sexual assault story, I would count it as a POTENTIAL sexual harassment/assault. I hope that is clear to you and I'm only telling you this because I want to make sure you are aware of that.
    With that being said I'm very sorry that happened to you, I can't imagine the fear you must have had in that moment and if that ever happened to me I'd be scared to talk to anyone ever again.

  8. thank u for being brave enough to share your story & im sorry that happened to u, stay strong
    and this is like, the fifth time one of your videos has lined up with whatever I'm going through. because a couple nights ago I woke up from this nightmare abt smth that happened this summer when i was 15 and im hesitant to call it harassment or assault but I mean.. if im having nightmares 10 months later, that means something I think?
    anyway yeah sorry for ranting in the comments, & I hope youre having a good day !! ✨

  9. So sorry that happened to you Rikki love you Rikki I hope someone reported him to the police love you Rikki

  10. I completely respect your calling it an assault and I’m sure there’s a good reason, I’m just a little confused myself. I always figured a “sexual assault” indicated some kind of unwanted physical and sexual contact (like groping, spanking, grinding, etc), while sexual harassment was any unwanted but non-physical/no-contact sexual behavior towards you (catcalling, masturbating, sending unsolicited photos, etc), so this would fall more under harassment.

    Both harassment and assault can definitely be very frightening and traumatizing, I’m just not sure how they’re different from one another anymore if this experience could be defined as assault?

  11. I’m glad that you went through with posting this. It’s important for these stories to be heard and to raise more awareness for SA. Thank you for sharing your story ❤️

  12. There's something particularly scary about the intersection of disability and sexual assault/harassment. Sexual assault is obviously a problematic issue regardless of gender or ability, but the extra vulnerabilities that come with being HoH/deaf, blind, in a wheelchair, etc makes it even more terrifying. For me, it creates this special kind of horrible anxiety, where I feel like I have to be even more vigilant when I'm out by myself, especially at night, simply because my inability to hear well can increase my chances of becoming a victim. And that doesn't even scratch the surface regarding the huge percentage of people with disabilities who are assaulted by people they know, who knew and took advantage of those exact vulnerabilities. While I've thankfully never been assaulted or seriously harassed in any way, there have definitely been people who took advantage of my hearing loss in order to say questionable sexual/creepy things to me, because they knew I wouldn't hear it – I'd only find out if someone around me mentioned it or from context clues. I shudder to think about what could happen around someone with darker intentions.

  13. Saw this on the page and thought, "Oh, crap" angrily. Angrily on your behalf, angrily that you went through this. Stay strong, we love you.
    Actually, once when I was on a city bus downtown, I saw someone in a car doing the same thing, he had a pile of porn magazines on the seat beside him and was leering at women on the sidewalk. This was before the day of cell phones, so there wasn't anything I could do. 🙁

  14. Thank you for sharing this story with us. I'm really sorry that you had to go through that. I'm also a survivor of sexual assault, and I know you probably don't need to be reminded of this, but there's no such thing as being "assaulted enough" for it to "count"–I'm really sorry you are having to deal with people saying that some people have it worse because that doesn't undo or lessen the impact of your experience. Anyways, lots of love and support <3

  15. I think you are very brave to share your experience, I remember when I was like teen, my parents told me never to talk to a strange, maybe that's the reason, sorry for that to happen to you, won't want that to happen to anyone, I hope the dude got arrested btw

  16. Lol that dudes a creep not surprised something like this happened to you some people have the weirdest fetishes

  17. Anyone commenting that this isnt real assault or it could be worse is only hurting survivors and reinforcing rape culture. Rikki is brave enough to share her story and should be supported

  18. What a disgusting pervert. To do something like that to a young girl is horrifying … You're awesome for being able to talk about something that traumatized you as a teenager. This is actually my first time seeing one of your videos. I'm going to have to check out the rest of your content. Subscribed (:

  19. Creepy! My random stranger sexual assault story involved less nudity, but it was also quite creepy. I was about the same age, 16 or so, and my best friend and I were sitting at a little bistro table outside the local market, eating ice cream. Suddenly this old man is STROKING MY FACE and apparently whispering about me being beautiful. Fortunately his wife came running up behind him screaming to "leave the girls alone!"

  20. People who think that it's acceptable to harass others in any way are the absolute worst people. Especially older males who sexually assault or harass younger females. It's absolutely disgusting to me.

  21. I'm so proud of you for sharing!
    I was 14 when I was sexually assaulted and recently I realised how many times I had been grabbed inappropriately or had bizarre sexual advances. It's really a scary world

  22. I had a similar experience but I kept quite cuz am a boy.
    The thing is when I told the story I found out I was right not to say anything.

    I don't mean to take any of your experience away all I meant was I empthies

  23. The same thing happened to me… I still have trouble with people passing by in the car and asking for directions, I can't help it but to feel dirty and unsafe..
    Thank you very much for sharing, hearing such a similar story meant a lot to me. I feel a little bit better knowing I'm not alone

  24. Just based off of what you described, that would be called sexual harassment. I’m sorry that happened to you, that’s awful. I can imagine how shocking and scary that situation would be. It was incredibly brave of you to tell an adult at your school about it. Truly. I understand how to this day that experience can still affect you, but just know that you’re strong.

  25. I had the same thing happen to me & my friend. Even younger at 11! Guy pulled up & asked "Have you seen my puppy?" My friend walked towards the car but I stopped her. He opened the door & no pants! Freaked us out but stupidly we didn't tell anyone. Thank you for sharing your story!

  26. Ever since you mentioned this video I've been trying to summon strength to watch. In a way, I'm glad that I finally was able to, and my deepest sympathies for your trauma.

    I'm a rape survivor, and though I hate what was done to me I'm grateful in the sense that it's helped me to understand others who've experienced & survived trauma. Thank you for sharing your story, Rikki. Don't let anyone demean or belittle your experience.

  27. I had an experince like this. I was 11 and walking home from the park when this guy comes up "You look hot." And i froze. He was like 35. And then he says "You wanna play?" And grabs his junk. I ran to the nearest house and called my mom. I dont like to think what would have happened either. Good for you for sharing your story. It helps people like me and I hope it helps you too…

  28. I think with the age and with the exposure, in my state at least, this would be legally defined as sexual assault.

  29. isn't sexual assault when they psychically touch you and rape you?
    and harassment is when they catcall, bother you, and do that thing in the car in front of you?

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