HELLOOO !!!! This game by the way is GORGEOUS I get in there- I played two rounds already and then I was like “You know what? I might as well stream this” It’ll be fun to have…. …fun But I like it so far… It’s really… ….hard to figure out what the hell is going on half the time but look how pretty! HEY MOM I GOT A KILL!!! MOM GET THE CAMERA!!! OOOHHH MY FREAKIN EARS (We have lost the objective Beta) (WE’VE LOST THE OBJECTIVE ) Yeah, I heard (Sh*t!) WE HAVE LOST THE OBJECTIVE, MAN!!! THESE F*CKERS ARE EVERYWHERE MOM!!! I HAVE TWO KILLS!!! MOM!!! (JESUS KIDDO WHAT !!!) AARRGGGHHHHH I got clipped on the way across OOOOOOHHHHH SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS!!! We lost 456-0 I think its starts at five hundred Play as the hamster ball. Robin, it’s the wrong game! Even though I wanna play as… have y’all seen the new Overwatch hero? His name’s Hammond. He’s a hamster in a.. giant ball. GOD, this is so pretty. How did they do that? How did they make the game look like this, and also manage to have… This many people playing at once It’s insaaane The snow is so pretty. Also, Battlefield games have THE best audio of any games ever. Not just the quality of the sounds they use -the quality of the sounds they use are pretty good- but the localization of the sounds they use as well And as a former sound technician- It’s orgasms in my ears (THE OBJECTIVE HAVE TAKEN IT!) THE OBJECTIVE HAVE TAKEN IT, MAN (wot) OAH FUCKIN’… I-UH SAW THE LADS AND I TOLD THEM TO GO FUCK ‘EMSELVES!! I TOOK IT, MAN! Yeah, but we’re now we’re losing it ’cause
there’s a whole brigade of BOIS down here Uh Oh Owww Ohh~ shot you in the booty! hehehehe I SHOT ‘EM IN THE ARSE MAN! THEY HAD NO IDEA WHAT WAS ABOUT TO HAPPEN!! Shot him right in his butthole Now he has 2 holes (hehe) OWW MY FUckin’ ass!! (laughs half way through) THAT’S WHAT YA GET MAN!! If ya see a lad, and you shoot him in the arse and then he turned around and his teammate shoot you in the arse now you bleedin’ mate I love that my guy is Scottish IF YA CAN CHANGE YOUR ARSE, WOULD YA? PFWHH!! There’s a moth in here again. Are there any weird buggers? I saw him and he saw me but he shot me in the face before I could even blink Ohh god- this is scary. I’m afraid of heights! MOTH, GET OUTTA HERE!! I can’t see anything that’s going on Imma just- Imma just scare ’em Scare tactics! Where are we in space and time right now? WHeEeE HahaHA! JACQUEZ Excellent shot, soldier! Thanks, man. ‘Preciate it. HO HO HO HO HO HO HOOOOO BIG BERTHA! Decided to rip me in twaine! Oh god. I’m back in hell- WHOAAHOHOHHH OoOoOooO ma ankles.. I like that their World War II like- Paratrooper parachutes Aw, you’re a good boy *gibberish* Thanks man Where is it.. did-did I get it? I think I got it Look at this guy! He’s got a trench coat! JUMPSOUTTHEWINDOW FOXTROT WOo OWW Thanks, Lads Hey crutches! Is this an anti-air(missile)? (Jack is impressed) MOTHER OF GOD this is an anti-ear cuz now i’m DEAF HE-HEYYYY…. I SHOT ‘EM DEAD, MAN !!! HIS FUCKING FACE IS IN FOUR PLACES *imitates plane*
NYEOOWWWWW O-OH, O-OH, O-OH AWWWW~ THERE WAS TWO OF THEM! OOOOHHH….!!! These lads are going ham on the “D” ooooh… Here we go This big long slider wheel… for nothing didi di didi di di di… (confused and suprised jack) What was that ?!?! (Yes, we have taken the objective down)
-Hah, yes! UUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH…….!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHH- HAHAHA IM DOIN’ A LOT OF LYIN’ ON MA BACK IN THIS GAME (Smoke grenade. Four) Smoke grenade? Are we hoping to kill them by like- secondhand smoke? WooHOO BOOM BOOM BOOM
Right in the face Anyone have health?! bratatatatata BRATATATATATA I got some holes in me that I need to be fixed Hey, I’m already on fourth on our team !!! We’re actually doing pretty good! OooHOHOHOHO That was right in my face! *dies* MY GODS!! How did that not kill him? I did it for 87 damage Okay, now. Don’t save me. Just let me bleed out *changes mind* SAVE ME! FRIENDS! YES! MEDIC! *revives* *instantly dies* Oh, I got ’em but somebody else killed me *claps* HAHA !!! There’s somebody in there and now he’s dead Reinforcements available? (Okay, we have taken the..)
I don’t know what that means Also, I wanna blow up a building Can i just like put this everywhere and see what happens? STAND BACK, LADS!!! (BOOM) HOHOHOHOHO That was cool! HAHA I GOT ‘EM,
I GOT ‘EM HE’S DEAD I- No- I mean- I’m dying but he’s dead! (Proud of himself) MEDIC !!! AAARGHHHH—AHHH!!! I’M DYING! (I DON’T WANNA GO) Nah, there’s no one here… *bullet whiz* Ha! *imitates bullet* PEWWWWWW I hit ’em! *Starship Trooper theme* I am the TANK DESTROYER Tank Killer Jack, that’s what they call me! Grenade! I wanna get the tank Ohhhh I wanna get the tank so bad Oh, please. PLEASE let me do it Oh-oh O-OH! AHHHHHH CHRIST! HE KNEW IT WAS COMING, MAN! annddd that’s game, y’all That’s a bigger gap than last time Or bigger drop than last time, I should say Hurray *banzai* We did it! Well, we lost but WE DID IT! Look at that. 8,820 Oh, you guys got a lot… I was in the top 8 in there and
I’m in the top 4 in there so I did pretty good~ That was Conquest. I wanna see what Grand Operations is like Imma be Emily Blunt here like go into battle and shoot everyone in the face So this is a mode that just continues over multiple days Objective Beta So they have to push the objectives and we’re defending them
Ok. Got it. That makes sense. I can deal with that I got it. I’m the (urghhhh) Oh, he died. I walked out over the hill and he was like, “NO. I don’t wanna be hit by that man.” He knew I was too awesome Jesus. I’m picking Jason Voorhees off the ground There you go, buddy. Oh, sh*t NOT TODAY, YA WEE BUNNY BASTARD! *gets shot* WOAH UH- THERE’S SOME MEDIC, COME IF HERE? PICK ME UP.
There’s a medic right there. Dude. (BOYS, WE ARE LOSING OBJECTIVE BETA) DUDE. Use your EYEBALLS! Hello?! Stop throwing rocks at them and
help me I’ll stay on the ground and bleed out and DIE *dies* Oh my god, the recoil. I might as well be trying to make scramble eggs in an earthquake Actually, that’ll be pretty easy. Two f*cking tanks on- oh my god There’s one for you *shoots* Two for you. One more *shoots* Three for you. Everybody dies~ Happy 4th of July! Where the hell are they all? Found ’em OHHHH GOD! They found me This snow is pretty and everything but
I can’t see sh*t, Captain I want to build right here. Can I- can I- can I do it? Ohhh there we go. I need to be close. There ya go. Little sandbags for everybody! There’s a bad guy right there Okay, build. *cheeky laugh* But thank you for getting the first shot in, dude.
That helped a LOT AHHHH TORBJYORN, READY TO WORK Where the badder mans (men)? There’s one Where’d he go? He was camouflaged. He put on his- his gear and then I couldn’t see him anymore Did I just- Did I just stabbed barbed wire? Yeah. Run away, Heidi Klum Oh… my friend is dead (Paranormal Activity: Battlefield) Oh, Jesus Christ. HE’S STILL ALIVE Ain’t nobody dyin’ under my watch O-Oh, I’m outta ammo Okay, you might die on my watch Urghhh. Forty-. A glancing blow! That when someone gives you a bj while barely looking at you *crowd applause*
Thanks, guys I know. The- the- we- who would’ve thought that the greatest joke to humanity would’ve been made on this stream? You see, guys. It’s those types of jokes (are) why I get to do the Just for Laughs festival. People have never heard jokes like this before *dies* SON OF A B*TCH! End of Day Two How many sectors lost? How many sectors did we lose? Zero There was 3 to lose and we lost none of them “Sniper scujm all f*cking k” Haha- kay~ Now we get to play it at night time and we’re gonna see the Aurora Bo(ring)alis Mother of GOD look how f*cking pretty this is (Defend all artillery cannons) SWEET JESUS HOW? The MP (Military Police) below over in Sweden be dam’ wizards That’s the best snow effects I’ve ever seen in a game *admires snow while chaos ensues* These are so awesome! Can I help? *shoots at plane* See? Look. They’re dead now ‘cuz of me *shoots again*
Oh, actually I can help! Here he comes~ Here comes Speed Racer~! God. He- he dropped FAST I did that. That was me. My kill. Thanks Woah woah woah Stop It! STOP IT!
ARGHH! F*cking sh- EWERGHHH MOMMY I don’t like it. I don’t like it.
I don’t like it. I don’t like it. MOOOOOMMM GOT ‘EM! oh sh*t- Oh Sh*t ARGH SHIT. All I have is freaking smoke grenade this- this guy I ain’t poke ’em This PUBG update looks great! Hey~!
Revival Man Thanks, buddy. I like that now you have to steal ammo from like- enemies and get it from elsewhere It means that the battles- you need to actually pay attention to what’s going on Yes! I got the gun, Mom! Ok. There’s like *shoots anti-air* Ok. They’re too far away right now. Imma hit them when they come in Yes *starts firing* YE–AHhehahe-ES O-cean Man~ F*ck ’em up! Oo. I’m overheatin’ Ohhh Yes!
*continues fire* GOTTA RETAIN RANGE! *rapid firing* *stops* Can’t let it overh- overheat! *fires again* Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho That’s some serious points! Now I’m third in my team just by sittin’ here I love being a lazy bastard! *gets shot*
DAMMIT Heyyy I’m alive again *gets shot again* *dies* Nah, it’s false alarm. I’m dead, guys. There we go. There we go. Ohh my god.
Look at all those Look at all thos parachutes coming in Do I have a limit on how much I can build? Can I just build forever? *starts building* I like it! I’m a builder man now I don’t care about shootin’ people Walls not War The more walls we have,
the better our friendship is! Build, people! BUILD Battlefields never had building in it so no one really knows what to do with it or how to do it or that we should be doing it *builds* Oh, Imma build you up *gets killed* Heeeey! 3 darts is too much Oh, he’s just hidin’ in there Sneaky, sneaky snake~ (gibberish), here. *imitates* HooooOO BUILD ‘EM UP
BREAK ‘EM DOWN I assume that we’re kicking ass right now It really feels like we’re winning a LOT Heyyy
I got a hit marker for that and nothin’ else *clicks tongue* Why am I not gettin’ any assists or anything for these? Ohhh they have to capture Oh, I get it. They have to capture these things and bring them Up! *badass moment* Can”t catch me,
I’m a Gingerbread man! Ooo we’re about to win! HA HEYYYYY WE DID IT!!! *victory track* Good job, everybody! *clap clap* Good Job! *blows horn* Everyone really brought it together Very proud of everybody Good job You especially *blows kiss* Peace out, y’all!