US To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through

With the national debt climbing
to an estimated 11 trillion dollars the White House announced
an emergency economic plan today, trading the national
gold reserves for cash through precious metal buyers Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner
devised the measure after viewing
this television commerical for the cash for gold program
last week. I got 583 dollars
from All I did was go look through my
drawer-full of jewelry I never wear. At a press conference this morning
Treasury spokesman Ronald Schuler outlined what he called a fast solution
to the nation’s money woes. As you know we have
these very large debts and the fact is the gold reserves
are just sitting there. Why not turn them into cash?
This woman turned in her wedding ring from her first marriage
and got money the next day. If it worked for her
it can work for the United States. Joining us now is Deputy
Treasury Secretary Edward Kuehnel, good to see you Mr. Kuehnel.
-Hi Andrea, how are you? First how much
does the federal government expect to receive
in exchange for all the gold? Well our estimate
is 200 billion dollars however the Cash4Gold website
features a lot of testimonials from people whose gold was worth
much more than they thought so there’s a possibility
that we’ll get much more. Now lawmakers
on both sides of the aisle expressed concerns
about the plan today. Well we do understand,
we do understand their reluctance but the fact is they want to keep
the gold for sentimental reasons, or because
they think it’s pretty but that’s a luxury
we just can’t afford right now. Ok what about Republican
Minority Leader John Baynor’s statement that the treasury department
should have looked into competing cash companies like and Yes, yeah, I know,
I’ve heard all of that. The reality is that we have
over a trillion dollars in economic stimulus package
to pay for… -Well we do. We just need that cash now, we can’t wait.
-Ok I see, but don’t you… Look, look, I agree
and the President agrees that this seems
like a pretty good deal. But is there a contingency plan
if that proves not to be the case? Well yes, of course there is.
We can get the gold back with the Cash4Gold 12 day guarantee.
-But what about the other… They’re certified by the
Jewelers Vigilance Committee, It says so
right on the website. Ok I understand the cash received
from the plan is going to be supplemented
by funding from the selling of White House furniture
on That is correct. We’ve already sold
a giant military map that we don’t use very often
and we sold a couch. We’ve made over 180 dollars
from that economic plan so far. Well thanks for being with us
in the Shelter Mr. Kuehnel. No thank you very much.
-Moving on, residents of the Bronx are decrying the lack of
gentrification in their neighborhood.

100 thoughts on “US To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through

  1. That was fantastic content. I found this because my mate became a lady-magnet – and he's overweight He began getting chicks magically. I was astonished. He acted as if it was normal for quite a while. Then he told me when he was wasted on Tequila. He mentioned he learned from the Jake Ayres Master Attraction Formula. Google it if you wish to learn about it… He is on a date today with a beautiful girl… Lucky fucker!

  2. You know that unwanted situation when your best friend (who’s been a loser forever, by the way) gets a beautiful woman to fall in love with him in like 3 weeks? Yeah, that basically happened. I know I should be pleased for him nevertheless I would prefer if it was me. He smiled as he told me he ran the Cupid Love System (Search for it in Google). I wish to hide out in a cave at the moment.

  3. Okay. I’m constipated. My step-father resides to the left of me and he just flung really decent at throwing the dolphins. The guy went to the Chef Boyardee web page (Gigablast it) by Phillip Phillipson and Sons. All he’s doing now is banging drums. He’s constantly bringing sexy back. I hear it, ITS IN MY EARS MAN!!!

  4. This is shameful. Policies like this are the reasons that companies are able to grow absurdly large and profitable and screw over middle and lower class americans. I can only home that they don't go through with this.

  5. And after 8 years of Obama it's 20 trillion. You kids in your 20s are never going to find careers. Only jobs. Good luck commander! LOL.

  6. Anyone else's YouTube recommendations randomly start giving you a bunch of videos from the 2008 housing crash? Does Google know something we don't?

  7. You know why don’t they sell their gold, it is literally just sitting there. 😂 Why pay interest on debt when there’s assets just gathering dust in some basement vault. We already FIAT currency so it’s not like they need it for that.

  8. This video sucks. If you wanted to make fun of US government spending you should have picked a scenario more ridiculous than the real one.

    <3 theonion

  9. I got $583 for my gold… actually worth 6x what they offer/give you but who cares about your personal loss. That cash for gold thing is such a scam

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