Was It Assault?


To paraphrase a message I recieved I have shoulder and back injuries so I’ve been seeing a massage therapist for a year to help me with them This last time I went he massaged my shoulders and back like usual then started rubbing my clit. I told him that made me uncomfortable and he stopped but now I don’t know what to do Other versions of this same sentiment are I told him I wasn’t going to have sex with him but he could spend the night and then I woke up with him on top of me Was I raped? Or I was walking and someone grabbed my crotch, does it matter? For anyone who has these experiences, this is my response to the author of first question which I hope brings relief to the rest of you Based on what your described, you were without question sexually assaulted As a victim, this might throw you into shock Take a nap, then come back here so we can talk Being violated in anyway can cause a person to feel really unsafe in addition to any number of these things How overwhelming First know there is a helpline access 24 hours a day Here’s a number for them. Here’s the website. If you are outside the US hotpeachpages.net will help identify the resources in your area When I was abused I called a helpline the person that answered checked to see that I wasn’t in immediate danger and then told me that she was going to watch the clock for one minute during which I could cry I started off thinking How rude that my breakdown was being timed and then I realized how desperately I need that cry to happen but also to end I blasted out my tears without feeling like I couldn’t stop because someone was there to stop me I don’t know that this will be your experience but I do know whoever it is will be a great sounding board for your concerns and confusion They’ll help you sort out the next steps, too. Let’s acknowledge this situation is really annoying You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not your fault. And yet you’re responsible for all this extra self care like watching this video and asking for help An ally is someone who is with you to deal with these annoyances Someone who could help you with other resources, step in when you need a moment And make sure you’re being heard This can be an acquaintance, best friend, coworker, neighbor… For me, it was a roomate. There are actually people trained to give this kind of support to victims of sexual violence They’re called advocates The hotline I recommended can help you connect to a local office for crime and sexual assault victim advocates who will meet you and guide you through the whole process They’ll totally respect how you want to proceed they’ll explain the systems available, and they’ll completely listen to what you’re afraid of, and what you need. If you decide to report what happened, to the massage liscencing board, the police, or if this was at a school or work place, it might be the dean of students or Human Resources An advocate can make doing so significantly less difficult I’ve sought out advocates for ideas They help me sort out whether or not to get a restraning order and how to do it. Ultimately official records of what happened are organized by the authorities What you share is kept on file, so if you or anyone else harmed by this person want to press charges the data is there Some people find reporting is super challenging, because they’re having to recount the trauma and can also be really messy because essentially you’re undergoing a legal procedure Note one: If you think reporting makes a big mess, that’s society getting up in your brain and fooling you Reporting doesn’t make the mess, assaulting you made the mess Note Two: Bring along an ally or an advocate for this very reason. They can help you ask questions, get you some water, and help you sort through your options I found it helpful to check in at the police station and show them the teeth marks on my nose To tell them the story in a quiet, safe space They didn’t look at the bites and go arrest someone. They took photos and asked me what I wanted to do How I wanted to proceed. And I realize that it’s not like this for everyone, so you make the calls, just don’t forget your people. Once the adrenaline of doing new, scary things, like crying to a hotline operator, or meeting with detectives wears off You’ll need to be wrapped up by your people If you’re introverted, maybe that’s a super shy friend or relative who you know won’t take a lot of energy, but with trust you and be there. If you’re an extrovert, maybe that’s a room full of friends who come over for nachos and video games. All of this mostly so you can participate in being you and not being your assault. These are suggestions, not rules. Every situation is unique and you comfort with resources is undoubtedly going to vary. For those of us who get to help you: We get to. You’re people, the police, advocates, and allies can be a big ole syestem that will tell you You were assaulted. What happened to you is not okay. You’re going to be okay. There’s a channel that delves into this topic more completely called Engage by Uplift Subscribe to them to and us. Stay engaged and stay curious

100 thoughts on “Was It Assault?

  1. I don't know if this was intentional or not. But thank you for making this video non-gendered throughout and for the incredible advice you've given. Excellent video.

  2. I wonder how specific you have to be when asking consent. Is it consent if she agrees to let you ring Heaven's doorbell, turn on the furry light switch, or pulverize the tuna Helper? Or do you have to use the medical term (the bald man in the boat)?

  3. I'm so sorry to hear about your experience with abuse. It was very brave of you to share it with the internet.

    Thanks so much for such a great video that's no doubt going to help a lot of people! 🙂

  4. I understand how all that information is hugely necessary, but I feel that there's some negligence on part of all of us when we don't say that simply moving on on a minor assault is also ok. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that rape victims should just forget about it, but there's also some of us that just need to be told that not caring about that one-time minor touching is not life shattering.
    I once was touched really bad in a night club, but it didn't affect me that much, I took it as something to laugh about as it didn't hurt me and got away easily. When I told my friends about it they made such a scandal and asked me so many times if I was ok that I felt more traumatized by that than by the actual assault. Being put on the centre of attention and being expected to be a crying victim can overblow everything out of proportion.
    Maybe what happened is a necessary side effect of a more important support system, but I believe that we can make it work both ways.

  5. I have been a support for a friend going through this and our experience was nothing like this. If you're interested, I wrote all about it, here (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-RAu-8yt17GPmFpma8ijt7DnEZMRGQRvOuxalIg67J0/edit?usp=sharing) None the less, thank you as ever for this video <3 Love your channel and the work you do x

  6. This video could not have come at a better time for me. I have never been physically assaulted, but a few weeks ago I was put in a situation that was very traumatizing and violating. I feel a lot better about how I handled the incident, especially the reporting part. I'm glad to know I wasn't overreacting. Thank you.

  7. Up until recently, I always counted myself among the few likely women to not have experienced physical sexual assault (verbally and gawking, yes, but I have never been touched in a way I did not sanction.) That was until I was at a block party after getting married, when a man took advantage of a moment where I was separated from my husband by penning me to a wall and grabbing my ass. He made total eye contact with this smug look, letting me see clearly the black teardrop tattoo under his eye. I felt like if I would have fought him, he would have hurt me. I managed to slip away when he was distracted, and didn't leave my husband's side the rest of the night, or really anything we were at one of those block parties. Afterward, because I was able to get away before it got any further, many of my friends who had gone through more intense situations, such as rape, belittle it, saying that all woman go through that level of assault.
    It also made me look back to another set of instances when I was in middle school. I was on the wrestling team for a year, during which one of my teammates would use the opportunity to grope me. Because we were learning, it was a physical sport, and it was supposed to be professional, I had always contributed it to him messing up. But my other teammates didn't do it, and he wouldn't just hold my breast, but squeeze it. He was a kid too, but it was clearing sexual assault that my couches either didn't notice of didn't work hard enough to stop.
    Yet, I'm still "the one who hasn't been sexually assaulted" among my female friends. Even if my fear for my life was real that night, even though I was seriously contemplating how far he could get before someone noticed. What would have happened if my Navy husband would have seen it at the time and physically assaulted him to protect me, risking his Navy career and possibly his future because I was too scare to push back, not that pushing back would have lead to anything but exactly that, making my husband come to my rescue, risking everything.

  8. Fuck you!

    In your previous video you presented mutilation and rape of young boys by woman as "the most sexually liberated culture" but now, when your ad watching audience is concerned, you talk about "society getting in your head" and negative effects of assault.

  9. Is the person asking the question doing so because they want legal terms, or are the asking so they know how to feel about it? While it's great that society is more empathetic to other's trauma, I can't help but feel we're simultaneously priming people to have a traumatic reaction to bad situations, where they would otherwise just move on. And society priming people to feel these certain ways doesn't make these feeling inauthentic– so much of our emotional state is largely informed by the current mood of the people around us and what we think is expected of us(though none of this is conscious). I'm just worried that in the attempt to catch the people that fall through the cracks, we create more trauma.

    If someone touches your genitals, and you ask, "was that assault", I think that's the wrong question. What's important is how that experience made them feel. Did it bother her? Did it bother her enough to go to the police? The police can identify it as assault, if it was. Did it bother her enough to find another masseuse?

    If she said, "this happened and I feel violated– what are my options?", this video response makes more sense to me. But she asked if it was assault. I feel like telling her it was assault is synonymous to telling her to be traumatized (at least, with the culture we currently have). And this turns into a pivotal moment instead of it just being that one time that weird thing happened.

    If some guy started to fondle my junk while massaging me, I can't see my reaction being anything more than slapping his hand away, telling him to fuck off, and spending the rest of the massage wondering if I should find a new guy or if this will be a reoccurring issue.

  10. There's a misspell/misuse of a word in your dooblydoo: "you've been effected" should be "you've be affected" Aside from letting you know that, I want to let you know that I am so grateful to you for writing this and I hope it can help quite a few of friends, especially ones who are not ready to face their harsh pasts yet.

  11. I just wanted to say I really like the new graphics for the transitions whom ever did that you did a great job!

  12. +sexplanations Is assault the right word? I never really thought about it before seeing the title of this video but the title of this video some how reminded me that the legal definition of assault is the threat of bodily harm, while battery is the actual harm. So, shouldn't sexual assault really be called sexual battery?

  13. sometimes this is too fast for me to follow :/ i get that youtube gives me the liberty to pause, rewind, and even slow the time, just putting it out there.

  14. The sincerity and helpfulness of this video almost had me in tears and I haven't even been assaulted. I'm glad you and others like you are here in the world.

  15. I started tearing up at this. A very close friend of mine was raped a couple years ago. I helped as much as I could, but I just didn't know what to do.

  16. I was just wondering if it's still abuse if you consented to it but were too young to understand what was happening, i.e. being 10 years old and a 16 year old asking for consent. I think it's abuse but it's very confusing.

  17. I feel like this this videos title was misleading. It was a good video with lots of important information but I thought it was going to be about the differences between sexual assault and not a sexual assault. This video kinda was like, if these things happened it is sexual assault and then the majority of the video was about the steps you could take following it.

  18. Hey Dr.Doe,

    So about a month ago I stayed at my boyfriends house overnight, at that time one of his best friends which I knew just a bit, was also staying and sleeping on the couch. In the morning my boyfriend had to go to work early and he left the two of us to sleep in as long as we wanted to.

    His friend tried to wake me up and asked if I want to have anything for breakfast I vaguely replied that I want a sandwich and continue to sleep. After 15 min or so I think he called me to eat, I was half asleep as in i could hear everything but i was sleeping at the same time. I could hear him walking up to my bed, just standing there for a few seconds and then he kissed me softly on the cheek but it wasn't a quick peck it felt so loving.

    I was so shocked at the moment I just pretended to sleep, I didn't know what to do, I didn't want it to be awkward and I didn't want my bf to lose a good friend over this. This guy has never kissed a girl and has never had a relationship, he was in his early twenties, I was sleeping in my underwear and he probobly was very lonely. Did I do the right thing or should I tell my bf about this?

  19. once when i was alone in a public restroom, a man came in, masturbated, and left. the whole time i was texting my friends freaking out, i had my feet pulled up and didn't make a sound. i know i wasn't assaulted or harassed, but what the heck do i call this? he never touched me, but it's something that terrified me and i'm never gonna forget the experience and all the things that ran through my head when it was happening.

  20. i was/am an ally to girl who had terrible, unspeakable things happen to her. it took weeks, even months for her to get back on track. the police was incredible disrespectfull to her, her parents still dont know what happend. … but eventually she could move on. i wish nothing but the best to her and, god forbid something like that ever happens again, i would be there for her again, any time, any where.

    i hope everybody in need will find people to help and support them <3

  21. A little while ago, I was assaulted. I didnt really want to accept that I was but this video- I knew I had to call the hotline. I cried, a lot, but they were really helpful. And yeah, I'm pissed, and frustrated, and I can't really seem to sleep, but I'm going to go see my therapist and tell her about it and hopefully see what I want to do next.

    So thank you, Dr. Doe, because I honestly dont think I would have accepted that it happened at all without seeing this. Thank you.

  22. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've replayed the end of this video over and over in order to go to sleep. This morning I watched this video because I'm a longtime subscriber wanting to be more educated and empathetic, but not thinking I'd ever deal with it personally. This evening I had a date come over to watch a movie but when I said I wouldn't have sex with him he got mad, called me a tease and a liar, and pulled down my bookcase before leaving. Thankfully I had my people, who came over and encouraged me to report it to the police. I was afraid to report anything but I remembered what you said. Thank you so much for these videos. If there's anyone who thinks these videos don't apply to them or aren't important I hope they never find out how wrong they are. You are such a blessing, please keep doing what you're doing

  23. While I appreciate all the advice given here and do feel it is important information to provide, as the wife of a male massage therapist – I really hope this video does not serve to reinforce the negative stereotypes my husband has to deal with daily. I do not want to discredit this woman's experience with a bad massage therapist, but there is already a large stigma around male therapists, and by using this as the main example Sexplanations just reinforced the idea that all male therapist are perverts and will assault you. My husband won't even do anything close to inappropriate when he massages me on his table in the confines of our own home, because he takes his job seriously and once i am on his table i am "client" not "wife".

    So to everyone out there, please don't take this one man's bad example as a representation of all male therapists.

  24. very smart topic. grateful. especially beautiful closer.
    thank you for all your continued work and adding your personal you to the vids.

  25. Being an ally for my friend when she was raped was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. She didn't want to press charges, and as her friend, I had to accept her choice because I was there to support her, not to go after her rapist. That is one of the most important things I'd like allies to know. This is not about you, and you cannot force someone to do something just because it's what you would do. Be there for them and respect their choices because they have already had their choices ignored and violated, don't add to that.

  26. Thanks for this Dr Doe. As someone who has been physically assaulted (beaten, mentally abused too) by men many times, it helps to know where to go, and that there are people, who won't judge or blame you for what happened. It almost ruined my life, and turned me into a shell, of what I used to be, and I hate that.

  27. I tend to go out of my way to criticize channels like Sexplanations (and others affiliated with the network) that have a predisposition to heavy third-wave-tumblr-feminism. But so far I've failed to find anything. The reply to Preslav Petrov clarified potential false-positives on my shitlord radar. I hope this video helps some people. Good on Doe for maintaining helpful information and gender neutrality.

    Though, the "not a victim of a crime" thing in the description is worded in a semi-worrying way but I understand the intended message.

  28. Excellent. Back in the 1980's I was on the Board of Directors for a local group called the Women's Crisis Center. Founded by 5 outgoing women who realized there was no guidance for sexual assault victims. I was brought on board so there would be at least one male board member! They provided a 24 hour crisis line and accompaniment, be it to the hospital, police department, home or to a friend's house This would have made a great video to provide to the victims.

  29. I actually started crying at the end of this video. It's not as shocking to me because I knew it was for a very long time, but I never told anyone until very recently.

  30. Dr. Doe, what are the long term affects of masturbating with pillows? I've heard it can cause orgasm trouble with a partner in later years. Is it safe? Should I stop?

  31. Have you considered having a video talking about Military Sexual Assault? I don't think I know a female veteran who doesn't have a story. The process is terrifying and I was threatened with discharge if I didn't make a statement regarding the assault of my roommate who did not want to report. We were later forced through a terrible court process that was entirely victim blaming and quickly disregarded due to "lack of evidence" even with a recorded confession. I guess I just think you're a really great voice for those who have been hurt and most of us can't come forward.

  32. after my assault i wanted to forget it and not talk about it at all and just went on with my life. It took me years to start talking about it.

  33. I love the grace with which she presents each topic . I've learned so many things from this channel, she definitely keeps me curious.

  34. My girlfriend told me about being sexually assaulted when she was a child and then assaulted/raped by someone else not even a year ago. How do I help her? Is there resources or a video for what I can do for her in addition to reassuring her and suggesting she talk to a counselor?

  35. Dr. Doe, Have you seen the documentary movie "The Hunting Ground" about sexual assault on college campuses? I found it very disturbing that women (and men) are not always safe from attacks and the colleges and universities many times side with the perpetrators (especially if they are star athletes). I would like to know your thoughts on this film.

  36. I have fairly recently looking back on an old memory started to wonder if i was sexually assaulted. the memory is of one evening when i was 6/7 alone with our exchange student 18, in it she exposed her genitals to me and kissed me on the mouth without any desire or prompting from me(I actually remember them as being distracting interruptions in whatever i was trying to tell her about). for most of the intervening years I either didn't think about the incident or assumed it was a dream, but looking back on it now through adult eyes it looks different. this is complicated by the fact that most of my and all of my families memories of this person are positive, and that i know memory is an incredibly fallible thing so this whole thing might not have happened. probably best to assume it didn't happen and ignore it.

  37. It has been over a year, and the one who assaulted me didn't realize what he had done was wrong. Is it still assault? Is it too late to tell someone? I'm going to be working at a camp for 8 weeks this summer, and he's going to work there as well. How do I face him? Help!

  38. How long is too long to feel afraid and upset and angry amongst other emotions about something like this? Its been 6 years and ive only ever let my emotions out once about it and everytime i think about it i feel dumb for feeling upset about it so many years later.

  39. I wish I had seen this video earlier. I could've used it. But it's been a year since, I'm lucky I had support from people. But I probably should've reported it.

    But honestly. It's difficult when you're a strong man and she's a weak girl, you feel really dumb, like even if you tell someone. They'll discount it. That it wasn't rape. :/

  40. Five years on and I still want to cry every time I think about it . Therapy is getting me nowhere and I feel like I'm drowning in flashbacks self hate and self blame as well as anger and guilt. Fuck I need this to stop I just wanna be a normal teen. Thanks for the video it's given me a few good ideas of how to help me move past this.

  41. Thank You…… I have been binge watching your show😘 i was assaulted years ago…… it was MY fault…….. so I buried it……… during my combat missions in Iraq……… being again at times being in that "hopeless" situation all those buried emotions and feelings….. came back a million fold….. they almost got me killed. I still have not dealt with that issue…… not met any healthcare provider that I can trust or really is down to earth; someone that will come out of their Ivory tower of education and look at me I have a doctorate…….. you should kneel before me……. and if it pleases me I may help you. When able to donate and help this channel that is my intent to do so. Thanks again for the great channel.
    For ALL of you that have been assaulted………. FIND someone you trust and confide in without judgement talk to them about what happened. NOT being able to do so Can KILL you; possibly emotionally mentally spiritually physically and literally! Isolating yourself from any sort of help can lead to depression and AKA suicide. NO ONE deserves being assaulted!

  42. Thank you so much for this video and for sharing part of your story. It happens all too often and it's important to talk about it.

  43. "Let's acknowledge this situation is really annoying". Although that line may sound to some like it is trivializing something extremely serious, it is very true. I really do appreciate those who are supportive, take the situation seriously and acknowledge I am the victim but sometimes it's good to step back from these overwhelming feelings and acknowledge how fucking annoying this whole ordeal is.

    It's hard to explain but sometimes I think to myself whether the concern and pity people have can inadvertently inflate the feeling of shame, guilt and fear. I wonder whether in Ancient Greece, where paedophilia was a socially accepted norm, if the abused children ever felt the same emotional pain we do or if it was as normal for them as consensual sex? I understand this kind of question could have some very bad implications but it would never change how much I love the two people who have helped me or how I feel towards that motherfucker who ruined my life and then killed himself leaving everyone feeling sorry for him.

  44. THANK YOU. As a Victim Advocate, I so appreciate you creating this video. Would you be opposed to our agency using your videos on our website and facebook page? You do such an incredible job breaking down topics in an enormously mindful, trauma-informed, and productive way.

  45. I was assaulted a year ago, and I'm still dealing with the health effects of the strong antibiotics the doctor had me take as a precaution. I'm tired of feeling like I'm still carrying the weight of this with me.

  46. I keep listening to 3:50-55 over and over again. These words are helpful and healing. I didn't know I needed to hear someone say them. Thank you for them. Thank you for all of your words. Xo

  47. 2 months ago I went for the first time in my life, to psychotherapy because of sexual abuse in my past. The therapist asked many questions about my health. The second time he asked me about nu hormones, so I told him one because I'm 63 years old. His answhere: so we can fool around without any problems? I just run out of his office and called my regular doctor.

  48. I think I was assaulted but because I was drunk and can't remember I can't be too sure. Friends have told me about me leaving his room and the fact that he's always after drunk and vulnerable girls is what makes me question it and that fact that I cannot for the life of me remember meeting him in the first place.

  49. i'm still questioning if i was raped by a police officer. it happened 5 years ago and i was on drugs. there is no evidence, all i know is that i was covered in bruises the next day…what should i do?

  50. I was sexually assaulted, took me a while to realise it. Fortunately I'm no longer in a relationship with that person and they're no longer a part of my life. I chose not to press charges for many reasons primarily because I'm a forgiving person even when I don't feel a sense of forgiveness. That doesn't mean everyone can and should do that, I certainly have made as much active effort as humanly possible to aid those who've told me they've been assaulted.

  51. It's such a shame that not everyone feels they have the choice or a right to decide how to proceed after an assault. After being assaulted I walked into the closest local Washington State, USA, County Sheriff's office (mind you I live in the 3rd largest city in Washington State) and was told bluntly that ANY conversation including my my simply asking the Deputy IF what happened to me was an assault the man who did the assaulting would absolutely positively be arrested, charged & prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law! This would all happen regardless of what I wanted done, my choice was irrelevant and not important to the process. These were the deputies exact words!
    The Deputy said that even asking him ANY questions "hypothetically" would result in his arrest etc…
    Lets be real, I didn't then or now live in a vacuum. His arrest would've had huge and horrible career, financial, social, financial and FAMILY ramifications for me and almost nothing other than an inconvenient day/week for the man who did the assault.
    All I wanted was to know from the Deputy IF I'D done something wrong or was I somehow responsible for the attack. I walked in the Sherrif's office and the Deputy stopped me literally 3 words into my 'introduction'. I said "Hi, ummm… my na" when the Deputy said and I quote… "Let me stop u right there, ANYTHING you say or ask me WILL result in his arrest. IF you DON'T want him arrested or if you're not sure… STOP NOW!!!"
    I said "I just have a question may I ask hypothetically?" He repeated flatly, as if bored & reading from a script "Anything you say or ask me will result in his arrest. If you don't want him arrested or if you're not sure, stop now."
    I turned around and went home… alone. This was 4 years ago and the first time I've told anyone this story.
    I trust Dr. Doe and despirately want her version to be true. Maybe things have changed and are getting better, i dont see how my experience with that deputy could've been much worse!

  52. If it happened at university/by another university student, you can also report to the title 9 office! It’s a non criminal investigation. (Being undocumented doesn’t mean you can’t file with the police) but this option is sometimes favored by undocumented students

  53. My boyfriend kissed me without my consent and it was my first kiss, I didn’t want it to happen and tried to get away but he didn’t listen and did it anyway. This happened yesterday and I broke up with him today without telling him why. Was I assaulted?😔

  54. I think at least the guy stopped, i have a friend who said stop, and the guy didnt stop… As far as i know, he got raped in jail when other inmates knew why he was there, but he only got 3 months in there…

  55. One day in middle school, someone ran into me, but grabbed my waist and pulled me into him before walking away. Older guys constantly assume I'm a college student (age 13, freshman) or a married woman (now, age 16, almost a senior). Harassment, not assault but… It's more annoying than anything.

    Why is sex or hitting on someone such a huge deal? Fuck.

  56. My sex life was Robbed before I ever had one by my mom's pedophile boyfriend congratulations destroyed any needs or desires sexual needs at all ect stuff go's

    Tell tell 3yrs ago I mange to get my groove back for the needs an want for sex again.! I'm slowly getting back into sex it took a while before hand sex to me was gross and disgusting I could not enjoy sexually related things because his disgusting gross ass took that away from me.. Looking at a penis was a deal breaker I would cover my eyes I didn't wanna see naked people mating naturally weather it be porn or movie or in picks it was that bad

    I blocked from my life that was supposed to be the best time of my life turn out to be the worst time of my life I was traumatized as a child. Worse time for wanting

    To live like I ain't shit just let me die already I've already had my pure innocence joy stolen from me let me go doing the time before anyone known that I was a RAPED VICTIM OF SHITTY PROBLEMS

    My big sister suggestion me to watch some porn I was not in to she didn't know the dark secret why I didn't care for anything sexually related. I didn't but now that I've manga to try an tell to open up to some people sad part is my niece knows I don't know how but she does I'm surprise she didn't spell like milk she has a biggg mouth ive manga to get closure to my life step, closer to getting out it's over along time ago but you never forget cuz it will always be there all you can do is move on
    he never got charged prosecuted or put in jail tf first person I told before anyone was my mom I was 18 the friction started the hate bashing jealousy etc you can name she didn't even bat an eye when I said I was afraid!!!!!!! I got courage HUGE TO TELL HER IN A WAY THAT I KNOW HOW * she just looked at me stupid with confusion. And none Shalunt attitude like I don't care if he raped you at 13 I'm going to stay with him regards no ones going to take him away from me I don't give a damn if you're my daughter deal with it grow up and move tf on the whole attitude I got no she didn't tell me that I scene's in her she didn't even half to that morning she ask me did he cum? I said no I went on to school that was that . She never get me checked out to see anything like it never happened turned the other cheek she turned against me HOW YOU GO TURN YOUR OWN BACK ON YOUR BLOOD I'M YOUR DAUGHTER YOU BETRAYED ME TO STAY STAND STILL WITH A PEDOPHILE THAT CAME ON TO YOUR LITTLE 13 YR OLD GIRL DAUGHTER YOUR JUST AS DISGUSTING AS HE IS SICK FREAK!!!!!!!! 🖕🏽🖕🏽🖕🏽🖕🏽🖕🏽🖕🏽 boom you wanna disown me fine you can kiss my ass out of your life if I ever get right by gods grace* you will never see me again

    This was my discomfort pain to sex anything related, etc I promise to God I would start back to going to church change my life I'd stop believing the devil I come off of darkness edge an get right again an control my anger and bitter hatred towards my mom I was very depressed teenager in my life early adult hood. And suicidal I still am 0% courage an balls to go through its all good I have a long way to go..

  57. I woke up to being groped by an ex I hadn't been in a relationship with in 9 years. he said I initiated while I was asleep. it happened on June 13th and I'm still waiting to be murdered or framed OR TO HAVE ACTUALLY DONE SO.. But I was asleep. no law official is going to be able to tell what happened better than me. I feel like a part of me shattered that day, I wish I was back to normal. I also feel bullshit misplaced guilt for calling the cops the next day. I wish I knew what to do. I should have just held onto my pain. I feel bad that he's going to jail.

  58. I was assaulted twice on two separate occasions. The first person now goes to my school. I’m reliving everything every day after I thought I recovered. I’m trying to change my schedule so I don’t have to see him as much but it’s a very slow process even though it shouldn’t be. Knowing that it was in fact assaulted and that I have a right to be upset about it gave me so much comfort. I hope any other survivors out there find comfort as well. I love all of you 💕 you are not your past.

  59. I know that most of the time the answer to “was it assault” is yes but I have a situation that raises questions. On my first date with my boyfriend who I’ve been with for months now and always feel safe around, we kissed when he dropped me off at my house and he started putting his hand in my panties to finger me without asking, and when I pulled away and said no he was super apologetic he never did it, as soon as he realized there was no consent he was upset. Whenever I think back to it I do feel uncomfortable but it’s more about whether it was okay for me to keep seeing him than feeling violated. I’ve never felt anything but respected accept for in that one moment

  60. Even though I'm a man and I've never met anyone whose been sexually assaulted or they've just never told me this video made me cry because I hate it when people do stuff like this and it makes me really depressed

  61. Sexual assault is real. I have a sex offenders iPhone app that show the pictures and address of sex offenders in every state and neighborhoods. About 8 years ago i was surprised to see my former Manager where I use to work at on that list. One thing I noticed is they don’t live near schools.

  62. I know a person who was assaulted and says he wasn't. He felt ashamed and disgusted after it happened. I listened to what happened and I told him "you were assaulted. It doesn't matter that she's your friend" but he said that I shouldn't call it that way. I understand that he didn't want to feel like a victim. He felt that he was expected to like it because he's a guy. "It's not a big deal", I heard after two days of listening how dirty and disgusting he feels. They're still friends.

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