White at the Museum | April 3, 2019 Act 3 | Full Frontal on TBS | Full Frontal on TBS


Welcome back to the show. If there’s one
takeaway from Black History Month, it’s that White Supremacists aren’t being seen.
Trust me, we see you. Turns out, what they should be asking is what the Hellmans does
being white even mean? I asked the Lucas brothers to find out more. Hey, we’re the Lucas bros., and today we’re
going to talk about white supremacy. Specifically how much these dudes love their Greek and
Roman statues. “They architectured ancient Greece.” I’m talking about something bigger. Your
connection to a culture, a history, a destiny. Just go look at the Greek sculptures and that’s
you. I love white people! We’re white men, we
did everything! Chill, dude, we get it. So, we went down to the MET to learn about
the ancient white history that white supremacists love so much. Oh yeah, like the movie. The
MET has a lot of white statues and surprisingly lacked security. Whoa, yo, look at these dudes.
Well, here we are, the beginning of the white people. Hello, white statues. Actually, Lucas brothers, they were never
white. Did that statue just talk? It wasn’t the statue. It was this sharp-dressed
dude, and he said he was The MET’s head scientist, and he also said everything we
know about statues is a lie. A white lie. Ah, that’s a pun. So, the ancient world was not like this. When
you see white here, you have to imagine vibrant color. So marble was just a canvas a painter
would decorate. Wait, I’m-I’m sorry, this-this is just-I’m,
my mind is blown. Your mind is blown. My mind is blown. I can’t. This is crazy! This is amazing! This is nuts! They’re not white! They’re not white! They’re not white! Was he saying that this entire museum of whiteness
was actually supposed to be in color? They look white now, but it was a very diverse
world. The skin tones in the statues would have been reflective of what was around the
street. You’re telling me that some of the people
might have looked like us? Absolutely. I love museums! I love museums! God, I love them. The science actually shows that the statues
were painted with a variety of skin tones. That’s right, but the paint wore off by
the time they were unearthed centuries later. So basically, we could have avoided racism
if the Greeks just used some primer. So, she’s definitely a white lady, right?
She looks like she’s snitching on somebody. But if the ancient world was so diverse, how
come these dudes use it to prove their superiority? Don’t ask me, man, ask the white lady. Hey. Hey, white lady. I’m Sarah. Hopefully, white lady Sarah could explain
why all of these statues became fuel for racism. A lot of groups within the alt-right have
looked to antiquity as a way of legitimizing what they’re saying and what they’re doing.
These statues get used as a tool to justify racism. So, alt-righters and neo-nazis are trying
to claim that they own all of ancient history like, “I’m caucasian.”
“I’m caucasian.” “I’m caucasian.”
“I’ll be caucasian!” “I’m caucasian!”
“I’m caucasian!” “I’m caucasian!”
“I’m caucasian!” “I’m caucasian!”
“I’m Eric.” Greeks had no conception of biological race.
Of course, they see skin tone, but not in order to reinforce an idea of whiteness or
blackness. So, how’d they know which culture to appropriate? Um, I haven’t asked. How did the cops know which chariot to pull
over? Sure, the ancient world was full of slavery
and oppression, but the fact is, the idea of race never played into any of it until
Europeans came along centuries later and use white statues to justify categorizing people
by race. When you have just a monolithic picture of
ancient Rome where everybody in your mind looks like a white statue, then that reinforces
the idea that these were all just white people walking around in the Roman Empire. Then, how can we put the color back into our
past? Hello? Hello, hello, hello… Yo, Lucas Brothers, yo, Lucas Brothers. Yo. Hey man. Another black person! What’s going on, man? Hey, how ya doing? Brother, too, baby, that’s what I’m talking
about. That’s what I’m talking about. Hey did you sneak in, too? Did you sneak in, too? No, no, I was invited. I have like four degrees. Wow, that’s one for each of us. Plus, one
for that statue over there. Whiteness is not skin color. Whiteness is
a system of oppression. You’re damn right it is! Right on, brother. Right on, brother. Right on, right on. But, but, actually, yeah but, actually, but
I’m serious though. It literally is not a scientific thing. OK, hmm. Whiteness is really an invention that white
people came up with to categorize people. There you go, you invented something. That’s
great! Happy White History Month. But, the funny thing about whiteness is, who’s
white keeps changing. It was like first the Irish weren’t white, then they became white.
Italians weren’t white. So, there’s almost like a minor league system
for whiteness. You’ve got to start off and then- You’ve got to start off oppressed – we’re
going to be white in no time! I wouldn’t hold your breath. So, it’s almost as if these white supremacists
weren’t superior! Yup, that checks out. So, if race is a construct, can we still be
black and proud? I think we can be proud of the way that black
people survived, you know, even though we got organized into these categories. Right. First, they start organizing the statues,
and then they start organizing institutions, education, criminal justice, all-around whiteness. Hmmmm. So, we have to undo this world that whiteness
has created – Wow. And we’ve got to learn to see the past in
full color. You know what he means? Of course. I know what you mean. History of whiteness, man that stuff fucks
you up. These stickers are pretty strong, huh? Very strong. ‘Sup? What’s up? What’s racist? Oh, well, he doesn’t know what racist means,
uh- That’s, no no no no. They don’t like, um, us. They don’t like
us! Oh, like twins? No, not twins. I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Have you seen the rest of my penis? The ancient world was full of color. Whiteness is a construct. It’s a system of oppression. That’s an excellent point, brother! Seriously, guys, I used to have a penis! I guess history really is way doper when you
see it in every color, and when you’re stoned as fuck. Man, can’t believe we did it. What? We saw racism! I don’t think so. Well, then, fine, I saw racism. What, I don’t get credit now? We’ll be right back.

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